Counseling / Hypnotherapy / Parts therapy

Njoy, I am sooooo glad. We help each other! I will post last Tuesdays session soon. It was very interesting

 

Session -4- please see "intro portion" in session -2-. This is from last Tuesday. I had another session tonight. Hopefully to be posted soon. Also, this one is a bit fragmented, but if you read through, you will probably pick up on the same nuggets I did. We went to a time I was 12 year old. We had discussed the way I had acted as a child to obtain attention when I wasn’t being cared for and I was ignored. Such as acting out, ADD behavior (see Dr. Gabor Matte’s “Scattered”) and arguing. I tried get to the 12 year olds sadness. I couldn’t feel it though. Jennifer suggested I try to see colors. I saw a muddy yellow brownish color. I also described a sensation like a rubber band stretched from my throat down to my solar plexus. She had me act the True Self as the parent of this child and told him I loved him and cared about him and would keep him safe. Jennifer asked how that changed the sensation. I noticed that the sensation diminished somewhat because he was feeling the love and attention from me (self Love). Jennifer asked me if I would like to change my decision that I had made at that point EG: to act out to get attention and love. I said, it didn’t get me anywhere did it? Jennifer asked me what new agreement I wanted to make, what new behavior I wanted to have to make this child feel loved and cared for. I couldn’t come up with anything. Jennifer said “it seems to me that is the part of you that wants to argue with your ex girlfriend and your ex wife “. I said (and this is interesting) “it gets me the attention that I am afraid to ask for, that I am not going to get”. Jennifer called that a bind. Jennifer said, when you do get the attention, it feels smothering, intrusive. I said it’s the no win scenario. Jennifer said it feels like you are drowning, So this is an important place for us to come back to. Zoom in on in great detail. Then you can feel and experience both sides of this bind, understand the source of it and be able to approach it from a different angle. Then she said as you were holding the 12 yo b4 you had a affirmed some new conclusion. The old conclusion was that I’m not worthy and no one cares. The new conclusion is .. and I said I love him and I care about him (clearly I was trying to distract her here) and I will always protect him. Jen reiterated, So what is the new conclusion and I said “I am worthy and I am loveable.” And she pressed on, So what new decision, what new change process would u like to make based on the belief I am worthy and loveable. Jennifer asked me for 2 behaviors I am willing to try : 2 things I am willing to do. So I said, do something fun for me. She said oh, that’s interesting. That sounds like the little boy who was so upset that Dad didn’t want to have fun with you. Being busy and not having fun. (Hah! I am just like Dad. That isn’t a “funny” “Hah” ) So, I also suggested reading a book or doing something for pleasure. Having a cup of tea and reading a book. Jen asked, what is another one? I said, watching a funny TV show like Fraiser, I always liked that show. Jen said allowing yourself to have time with yourself and sit down, watch a show and relax. And laugh. So these are 2 behaviors I will try out when I am finding that what I really want is attention and I become aware that I am engaging in behaviors like arguing or conflict to get those needs met (Oh Jeeze that has been my life) . Then she said, (and this is KEY) “You are going to be the one that gets to decide whether or not u try out the new behaviors or engage in the old behaviors. You have an awareness that gives you an element of choice. And if you find yourself starting to engage in conflict, or arguing with someone, u have the awareness, u can make a different choice. More to come….

 

Hey, Matthew, I've been away for a few days but it's a treat to come back to your Session 4 post and read about revisiting choices made long ago and finding a better way to meet the little kid's needs. Love it.

I am really intrigued by the Heart-Centered approach to hypnosis. I've used hypnosis a fair amount, both on myself and others, but the effects aren't always lasting. Great for immediate relaxation but not so great for long term results. Using a parts approach to hypnosis is a such a useful innovation. Before I knew I had parts, I would think, "Yay! Problem solved!" only to have something similar pop up. Now I know that parts often come in groups protecting the same wounded inner child. And their number isn't endless. Wouldn't that feel discouraging?!

Another thing that affects me is that clearing out one problem allows another, less noisy, part to finally be heard. Or I am suddenly aware of how I've been behaving and feel ashamed. Then I have to deal with the ashamed part. I guess it's a matter of "Slowly, slowly, catches monkey", as the old saying goes.

Please do keep up your posts. I know people are reading and appreciating them.

 

Njoy, I am glad this is helping you. I have used hypnosis in the past to quit smoking. This feels very different to me. Jennifer is using the hypnosis to get me to a place where I am more open and willing to go places I typically can't even remember. I loved the IFS work, but I never stuck with it. And as we all know, we can read till the cows come home, but if we don't "do the work", we do not succeed. This is helping me "do the work". Also, when under hypnosis I seem to be more willing to discuss these things painful things with her and we explore things in more depth and it gives me a better understanding of my parts. I have also noticed that when I try to distract myself and talk about something else, she seems to be able to easily and quickly get me back on topic . That is a new experience as with my last counselor, I distracted a lot more and took us off topic. I am about a week behind (and now further behind because my truck got totalled on Thursday. So I am distracted right now looking to replace my vehicle and some things had to go on the back burner. I truly hate purchasing a car! It is such a hassle! Nor am I in a financial or emotional place to be doing this. ) I will try to post last Tuesdays session soon. I didn't realize too many people were reading it. Are there stats for that somewhere? Other than a few likes here and there and you and NorthStar actually contacting me. I actually considered stopping posting as I didn't realize too many folks were reading it

 

I like hypnotherapy.
I have a DVD of a hypnotherapy session and it is very relaxing.
One of the best parts of it is saying "You can do anything you set your mind to do."
I do that and always feel good about myself. Fear goes away.

 

Hi Matthew,

Please do keep posting your sessions. I'm getting a lot out of them. I did parts therapy about 20 years ago and your sessions are helping me remember some of the stuff we worked on way back then.

Thank you so much for sharing them. I think it's awesome and so generous of you to open up like that.

Wishing you a great day!

 

Session -5- please see "intro portion" in session -2-. This is from Tuesday 9/16. We reached a place this week where I was about 9. There was an argument between my Mom and Dad at the dinner table. I had never seen this happen b4 in my house. My parents always kept that stuff behind closed doors. My mom took her keys and left the house. My Dad followed her out. Some time later she returned and went straight to her bedroom. My Dad returned and came back to the table. I can not remember any other details. That said, Jenn came up with the fact that I was terrified that my Mom would not come back. Then what would I do? Where would I be? I was only 9, I couldn’t care for myself. The point is I have the memory but not the feeling of fear, or any emotion. We worked through that together. There is a typical “safe place” that we (me and any number of my parts) go to. I don’t think I have mentioned this before. It is a place in the woods with a cabin and a lake. I saw my little kid playing in the dirt. But there is a partition up between us. Like a huge plate of glass. So we can not talk to each other. I see him screaming on the other side, but it is silent to me, as he is not being heard. He comes up to the glass and places his hand on it and I place my hand over his and we have a connection. Jen asks me to allow the connection to hear him. My heart starts pounding and Jen advised me to use my heart and the touch of my hand through the partition to hear his message. He said, he just wants to be listened to, he just wants to be held, he just wants to be loved. So Jenn asked what the feeling was under that. Sadness? Anger? Fear? Jealousy? Shame? Loneliness? Guilt? I think It is fear and shame. (btw if you haven’t seen Brene Brown’s ted talks on vulnerability and on shame , I highly recommend them, in that order) I had some sensations in my body again, and Jenn asked me to let that sensation speak. But I saw colors instead. I saw some green and a lot of red. Green (Heart Chakra) is healing for me, and red (Root Chakra) is fear/survival. Then we got into, my thoughts of what’s wrong with Mom? Mom is so even keeled all the time. What is going on? Dad sure isn’t going to share. Jen wanted me to allow myself to experience the fear. We realized this wound was my fear of my Mom not coming back. Then I saw the little kid in the clearing, digging in the dirt by himself. We realized this was a method of running away from fear. It is easier to run away then feel it. It is safer to run away. So instead of feeling incredibly scary and insecure it would feel if Mom left and never came back ( and this fits in with what I have been reading about attachments and attunement with our primary care giver in Gabor Mattte’s “Scattered”), I ran away. So I did some affirmations with the little kid: “I am always going to be here for you, I am going to keep you safe, and love you because I am the adult now, and can access my True self “. Jen asked me if he believed me. I said, he wants to, but he has been let down so many times he is skeptical. Jen said he really needs you to be a present within your heart . She said feel the heart that was betting and feel it soft and warm. She suggested having my spiritual guides to come into my heart and feel their love. I felt a beam of green light between my heart and the little kids heart (healing again). And a purple light connecting us (intuition). Jen had me feel the loving wings of my angels surrounding us and supporting us and loving us. So the little boy knows he is safe, and not alone and held securely. And he is not lost and he won’t be lost. More to come

 

For some reason, this post didn't get sent a few days ago. So here it is:

I'm glad you will be posting the last session despite your various troubles! Of course people are reading it. I'm know they are. It's so helpful to get a glimpse of someone else's process. I've, personally, decided not to bother with stats. If one or a few people are reading, they are the ones who need the message. Look at the total garbage online that gets all the hits. Meaningless gossip and chatter that makes no difference to anyone!

Your posts are totally different. Even a few people reading them changes the world in the right direction. I'm a big fan of the ripple effect. I read about a study where someone was asked to smile at everyone who passed. A video camera recorded the results and those who received smiles were much more likely to pass them on! Really quite a wonderful thing that wherever we are and whoever we are, we can choose to make a difference.

So sorry to hear about your accident and having to get a new car. Were you shocked or in any other way injured?

Update: your latest post was amazing. I'm reading a book right now that uses various ways (including therapeutic touch) to reconnect lost parts with the body. It's going the same direction as most other mind/body books but is able to get past defences if/when the client wants that to happen.

 

TY Njoy, I am glad it is touching a few folks

 

I am not sure what session I am up to. I missed logging a few. let's call it Session -9-. Please see the “intro portion” in Session -2- above, as that portion is mostly the same each time. Jennifer and I are finding things (memories) in my past that are helping me untangle some of the reasons I have TMS. It is interesting how the hypnosis, helps and allows me to be more open and willing to share. When Jennifer will ask me to give a part a voice or to act out my anger (like hitting the pillows of the couch with a rubber hose), I am more willing to do this. Sometimes we have had sessions without hypnosis and we have what I would call a regular therapy session. Recently I have come up with events I forgot about and didn't even seem important. But when they come up with Jen in hypnosis, they become more clear. There is a lot about how worthy I feel and how events in my past, lead me to not feel that way. Not good things or bad things, just events I perceived a certain way. It never ceases to amaze me what we pick up and hold onto as children. And then have a completely different view now, when we see it from the perspective of the strong , wise healthy adult (True Self). More to come