Day 1 - Reality Check Needed

I am 35 and have suffered from lower back pain for 10 years, the worst being the past two. As with many TMS sufferers, I tried every modality to try to "fix" my pain. I have all the signs of TMS and firmly believe in the diagnosis. But i need a bit of a reality check and appreciate any response to my lingering doubt that my pain is in no way associated with a functional/structural problem...

After a year and a half of excruciating and all consuming back pain, my sciatic nerve pain escalated to a the point of complete numbness in my butt and leg and foot for three months (on and off throughout the day, I would be dragging my leg around). I felt I had spent close to two years doing everything I could to avoid surgery, and after seeing 5 surgeons who all looked at my MRI and said I needed urgent surgery or run the risk incontinence (thats how bad they said my L5-S1 herniation was, but I was paralysed by fear and grieving the fact that I was told I could never play sports again). I did a mircodiscectomy on my disc in January of this year and the leg numbness went away immediately and hasn't returned...but my back pain persists (my obsessive attempts to treat my pain were focused mostly on the physical, with some meditation and therapy mixed in but without an awareness yet of TMS and Sarno's work). Post-surgery, I have since been working with the Curable app listening to podcasts by Alan Gordon...but was still struggling with a lot of back pain. I decided to do facet block injections a week before I really got deep into the TMS literature. I am in less pain after the injections, but they coincided with reading John Sarno's book Healing Back Pain and starting the TMS recovery program. So...of course, while I am quite certain I struggle with TMS (my evidence sheet is long!), in the back of my mind, I am also thinking that surgery and injections have helped. I am quite certain that the injections are a bandaid and the pain will return, and that the TMS recovery program is a longer term solution...But any advice on how to either ignore (or embrace?) this small sense of feeling like treatments addressing the functional issues have been helpful? And fear that the TMS program might not help, and my pain will return once the injections wear off.

Thank you for reading, and any response is so appreciated...I am sure i am not alone in this feeling!

 

I had many of your same symptoms and tried many of the same treatments. The micro discectomy, NINE epidurals (three rounds of three) and so many other medical interventions I have deleted from my memory. I also had the numbness, turned to pain, turned to the other leg, turned to numbness. The Big Medieval Medical Merry-go-round!

I'll try to keep this simple. The reason those worked 'a little' or 'sort of' is that you were told they would or you believed they would do something. The Placebo effect. Sarno always said that back surgery is just a powerful placebo, but the proof that it is just that is virtually everybody who gets it has continued back problems OR new symptoms in other area's.

I used to get temporary relief from my chiro because I LIKED the guy and I Believed the guy. But the longer I went down the tubes, the less relief I got.

So when approaching the TMS work that experience would go into the 'Placebo cures I had' folder of your life. But you must discontinue that and get down to the true causes and conditions for permanent resolution. I have been pain free since '99 by focusing on ANGER and Repressed Rage. Shame and Fear.

All of us were afraid the TMS program wouldn't work. It sounded too good to be true. But it does work and I am walking living proof.

...and I bet if you sit in some quiet and reflect on what was going on in your life and how you felt about the people who were treating you, the whole story will make sense.... Just keep studying.

peace

 

Hi Emily,

First, and I think this is the best evidence, you were dragging your leg around off and on during the day. Structural damage is always on, one never gets a break from it. TMS is the diagnosis for off and on symptoms, or moves around, or changes in intensity etc.. Secondly, Dr. Sarno said surgery is a powerful placebo, cleaning up the disc material and the care you received before and after may have soothed your system.

I think you can move forward with your plan to learn more about TMS and find the way out of your symptoms.

Lizzy

 

Thank you very much for the replies, I am looking forward to this journey.