Day 1

Hi all! I tried a while back but didn't follow through so I am back! I have had pain for about four years. It started after the death of my 15 day old daughter. My SI, groin, hip and pubic bone began to hurt. Recently under my knee really hurts and I have planters fasciitis pain. I am not very active at all because of the pain. Today I jogged for about ten minutes telling myself the whole time it was just TMS, and boy am I hurting now! My knee especially feels swollen and hurts to bend.

In addition to my hipand SI pain, a few months after my youngest child I started having full body twitching, myoclonic jerks, involuntary swallowing and other weird sensations.

It makes sense that it is TMS. I've been to numerous doctors and all testing is normal. As far as my SI, the docs say my pelvis is twisted and one hip hiked up higher than the other. I have the personality profile of a TMS'er. I had panic attacks while my sis was dying of cancer at age 28. I seem to always respond physically to emotions (like throwing up when nervous).

I am not 100% confident it's TMS, but I'm praying it is! I want my life back!

 

Hi, dtsierra. I am so sorry you are in pain and have had such stresses in your life.

Doctors have not found anything seriously wrong with you and the twisted pelvis doesn't sound like a real problem.
I think your pain and anxiety are from your emotions, and that's certainly understandable. You've come to the right place to heal. More and more people are coming to realize that their pains are not structurally-caused but from their emotions. I was one of them, with severe back pain, until I discovered Dr. Sarno and TMS. I journaled in the SEProgram and found harmful emotions I had been repressing since I was a boy.

In your case, there may not be emotions going back that far, but dealing with the more recent ones... your daughter's and sister's death. I hope there are people in your life now that you can bring you some joy. You will find friends here in this web site so come back often and let us know how you're progressing in the program.

You need to increase your belief in TMS. It takes 100 percent belief to heal. To help in this, I urge you to read Dr. Sarno's Daily
Reminders about TMS. I especially like this extended version by another member of this forum:

Herbie’s Extended Version of Dr. Sarno’s 12 DAILY REMINDERS

1. The pain is due to TMS. This is real pain or anxiety but it is caused by subconscious tensions and triggers, stressors and traits to your reactions and fears and also when at boiling point your conscious tension can and does also cause real pain.
2. The main reason for the pain is mild oxygen deprivation. This means that when you get in pain or anxiety then the blood is restricted from going to your lower back, for instance. The blood being restricted causes oxygen deprivation which causes the pain. Remember, where there is no oxygen then there is pain in the body. Also, the pain stays because of fear.
3. TMS is a harmless condition caused by my REPRESSED EMOTIONS so even though you think you can harm yourself from the years of pain you have felt and how you feel in general -- so far no reports have been heard from TMS healing knowledge causing damage to anyone, it only helps.
4. The principle emotion is your repressed ANGER -- this means under your consciousness lies something that happens automatically to everyone. TMSers have repressions that are stored because of our personality traits, traumas, stressors, fears, strain, etc... When these stored repressions build and build, then eventually they cause the brain to send pain into your body to keep you from having an emotional crises. The mind-body thinks it is helping you.
5. TMS exists to DISTRACT your attentions from the emotions, stressors, tensions and strains of your personality traits because if you can get distraction then you won’t have to be in emotional turmoil. When you don't face and feel your emotions and they get repressed because you didn't want to deal with something -- they are just adding up in this beaker, ready to pour over and create real pain and anxiety in your body.
6. Since my body is perfectly normal, there is nothing to fear. So in reality when I fear the pain or anxiety I just cause myself undo strain and tension adding to the beaker of pain. If I fear, then I feed the pain, If I fear, it’s impossible to recondition. Fear keeps the pain and anxiety alive in the body through focus.
7. Therefore, physical activity is harmless. If I want to work against the pain I could but it’s better to lose some of the pain so when I start my life over I have to be in pain trying to heal because facing the repressions and all the other activities that cause the pain and reversing my fear and focus to them, then I can heal.
8. I am resuming all normal physical activity. I don't fear moving anymore. I believe in my body’s ability to heal now. I can move as I want. I will not fear moving with a bent back anymore. I will also practice going out and acting normal again, not in fear of what pain might do to me.
9. The pain is unimportant and powerless. Its only power is how it is hidden -- its illusion, its fear.
10. I will keep my attention on the emotional issues. I will think about my emotions and feel my emotions throughout the day. I will not judge, criticize or fear my emotions. I will not run from my emotional issues but face every one of them. I will feel my emotions fully and cry if I need to. Then I will release the emotion and get my mind and thoughts back to my life and living in the present.
11. I am in control of all of this. This is how I recover.
12. I will be thinking PSYCHOLOGICALLY AT ALL TIMES. This means I will keep my thoughts on psychological issues like happiness, fear and anger -- traits and triggers, conditioning and journaling -- The science behind mind-body/TMS healing, etc.... This way I will not feed my thoughts to the body -- that is a trick of TMS. TMS will always try to get me to focus on the body caused by the pain until I break its show and flair. When I get my attention off physical symptoms and on to emotional issues and psychological issues then I will not feed the fear of the physical issues anymore, thus making the TMS of no pain effect on the body. This will in return, give us the cure and become pain-free.

 

Thanks so much Walt! I've read your message several times now to give myself some reinforcement.