New Program Day 10: Somatic Tracking II: Anxiety Strikes Back

Hi again John
you sound like an older person like myself........what can I say ? .....time even late in this life to do some serious repair work especially on the relationship with anger and fear and it's miserable ramifications. sure hope you are not depressed and feel so hopeless like I do !!
well done on writing your story. best wishes . Shirna

 

Ahhh, mindfulness. I'm really embracing letting go of seeing work on myself as something to schedule and plan. I like what mindfulness means. I like - not fear or see as work - the idea of being present in my self care.

I tend to see things as what needs to be conquered, like how I overcame my panic disorder. I'm now amazed I was able to desensitize myself in the way I went about it. This is so much better to watch, explore, notice, and accept. I'm so glad I have an amazing EFT practitioner to work with as she is great at guiding me, and strengthening the listening muscle. Thank you.

 

@BOP I like when you said your therapist helps you strengthen the listening muscle. That's something I'd like to work on. I often try to notice my thoughts and can't remember/figure out what I just thought. Is that skill developed through mindful meditation?

 

I seem to have fear of my thoughts. I have sensations that come when I think about them coming back or check in on them. So, in reality I have a fear of my thinking about my sensations since I can be fine until I think about my sensations, (which is VERY often). How do I stop my fear of thinking about it? Anybody, have some good visuals or suggestions for me?

 

You have said this to me a million times in session but I needed to hear it again today. Thank you sweet Christie.

 

Very well said!

I suggest using this 4 weeks to stop all you have been doing and focus on TMS recovery as your only "treatment" at this time. I had similar procedures and experiences with pain management Dr.s
IMO, they cannot help you, they don't know how. It's not their fault. But this can. Have you read Sarno's books? Start there. Work this program or the old one. Set up a session with Alan or Christie. Your Mom means well but she can't help you. Take charge of your own recovery. It's the way I got better. Just my 2 cents. Hang in there, friend.

 

When I "attend" to myself it looks like this. I go somewhere quiet, place my hand on my heart and breathe. Even if its just for a minute or two. Try it and you may be surprised at what comes up. Greetings from California.

 

Christie always said to me "either way, it's ok"
I have that on a post it on my bathroom mirror still over a year later!

 

I adore your posts, thank you!

 

I'm not Allan, but I have a few thoughts in response to your post.

First off, that doctor visit sounds pretty miserable. I've had my fair share of those. I'd say be wary of anyone who meets with you for 15 minutes, asks NO questions about your life, emotions, environment, etc. and then recommends a structural approach. They are deeply trapped within the system and there is no help for you there.

I can hear in your question of how to do the somatic tracking, that there is a sense of: "ok, I'll do this technique and the pain will go away."

I know because that's how my mind approaches this too at times. "I've done this for 30 minutes and it's still there, dangit!"

AND, it's this magical paradox, but the key really is to pay attention to the sensations and send ourselves loving energy, and really surrender. Really let go of needing the sensations to be any different at all.

In addition to somatic tracking, have you done some depth journaling?

Have you written out a list of all the stressors in your life?

Have you asked yourself this question, and made a list:
What pressure do I feel?
What pressures do I put on myself?
Who might my Shadow (or Id, or "Inner Child" - whatever you'd like to call it) - be angry with?

Wishing you all the best,
Aziz

 

I'm finding somatic tracking to be fairly easy with pains that I'm used to. But it's more difficult when pain pops up in a new place. Specifically, in the last few days a new pain has popped up on my left side. It feels muscular, but it's just unusual enough to make me wonder if it means there's really something wrong or if it's just a new manifestation of TMS. I'm assuming the latter, intellectually, but this little nagging voice says "This might be a real problem" and I get worried.

Which brings me to another question. As new neural pathways are developing, is it normal to randomly vacillate between new, calmer thought patterns and old fearful thought patterns?

 

Very good question. I am curious to see what TMS gurus have to say about this. I am also experiencing new symptoms as I am doing the work.

 

That's reassuring to know others are having similar experiences.

 

Hi James,
This is one of the reasons that it can be difficult to focus on your pain free of fear...because sometimes the pain feels scary. In these cases, it can be more helpful to focus on other sensations in your body, while giving yourself messages of safety.

It's very unusual to have a serious injury if you don't even remember injuring it. In these cases, even if there was a mild muscle strain of some sort, the pain still isn't "dangerous." Minor muscle strains heal relatively quickly. I've found that this is one of those situations where cognitive soothing can help. "Either it's psychogenic, or it's some sort of mild muscle strain. Either way, it's going to be okay." And then go about your day.

 

Alan,
thanks for your helpful response to James' recent post. I'm working on breaking the fear cycle by giving myself messages of safety, despite old worries and fears that pop up frequently, as the pain continues day after day. I realise that it takes persistence and perseverance to stick with the program, so all encouragement and support from you is so valued and appreciated. Shira.

 

Thank you this make a lot of sense, I have reduced my anxiety a lot over the last 4 weeks the pain is still hanging on and gets worse sometimes. Will keep at it to stop my fear. Thanks again.

 

Omg! Thank you Plum... this IS a cool spin

 

hey. thank you Shells and Plum. I am in total agreement.
best wishes and keep up the good work......