Day 10

Todays question was think of a person who you don't share your feelings with. Sadly this would be my mother. I talk with my mother on a regular basis but it is always just small talk. It feels very uncomfortable to talk to her about anything significant going on. For example, it is hard for me to tell her if I am dating someone or interested in someone (and I am in my 40's!). I think a big part of this is as a child she wasn't there for me emotionally when I needed her to be so I learned to rely on friends instead of her. My mom is always willing to help me out with fixing things and stuff like that but gets very uncomfortable with anything emotional.

I am feeling frustrated today because I feel more tense today. After my daughter goes to bed I am going to try and just lay on the floor and relax my body.

 

Maybe you feel more tense because you're thinking about your relationship with your mother?

Can I ask, do you compare the relationship you have with your mother with that you have with your daughter? I only ask because since becoming a mother myself, I've found myself feeling really frustrated with my own mother for the way she is/was with me. I love her and believe she always did her best for me, but I feel like we don't have a close relationship and I guess deep down I blame her for that

 

I guess I do compare. I want my daughter to always feel comfortable coming to me. I didn't feel comfortable going to my parents and had some significant trauma in my teen years that I to this day have never told them. I often feel guilty that I never told them but realized that I was a kid and as a kid my feelings were often dismissed so it isn't my fault that I didn't feel comfortable going to them. At this point it would do no good telling them. Like I said I am in my mid forties and would just bring out hurt. But it makes me mindful in how I am with my daughter.