New Program Day 2: The Nature of Pain

This. This This. "Essentially to self-soothe means to discover and embrace ways and means that calm fraying nerves. It is the realisation that we have never really learned to look after ourselves emotionally and instead we intellectualise, living from the head and not the heart. Many of us initially veer into self-destructive behaviours, such as booze, food, casual sex, shopping, over-exercising and other deadening, zone-out practices before realising that such actions take more than they give. The initial high is not worth the heavy, hard-hitting low. Invariably these behaviours worked once and maybe for a while especially when we were young but the results are ever diminishing and we finally must face ourselves." Thank you.

 

Your post of recovery gave me hope on a day I felt hopeless. Thank you.

 

If a fire alarm goes off, you’re not focused on turning off the alarm, you’re focused on putting out the fire. The alarm is just the signal.
This statement is perfection.

 

Alan,
You touched my life soo deeply with this program! I cant thank you enough!
One question regarding this day's topic:
Why is it that my brain misreads some psychological situations as dangers and creates pain, but other people get reflux, or ulcer or allergies?? What makes the difference, who decides how which symptom to create??
I would appreciate if you could reply Alan??

 

That is a good question. Why do some get people get back pain, while others get headaches, while others get anxiety? In some cases it's more obvious - perhaps your parent had a particular symptom, so that's the one that your unconscious mind looked at as most dangerous, etc. Or in some cases people may have particular neural pathways that have already developed because of a previous injury. But outside of that, I actually don't know.

 

Hi all, hi Alan,

how long does it take for a symptom to flare up? ı mean, if i get bored (psychological false alarm), my headache (symptom) shows up very quickly, like in an hour... but if i have some fear thoughts, i become lower back pain or pain between shoulderblades, usually in 24 hours... is it like this only with me?

 

Hi all,
This is my first post. I have been reading and have not seen anything about the trauma of losing a child. I found my 38 yr old daughter dead in her bedroom 4 months ago. She had lived with me for 2 years. My sciatica pain started 3 months ago. I have had muscle relaxers, steroids, pain killers, and been to a chiropractor with no relief. After a friend suggested I read Dr. Sarno's books I purchased them. I have no doubt I have TMS. This website is wonderful!

 

Sweetheart,

I cannot pretend to know the grief and tsunami of emotions you must be feeling but I can warmly welcome you to our sanctuary with an assurance that you will find many kind, sage souls who will do their best to support you.

Much love,

Plum x

 

Hello Lonelymom... My most heartfelt condolences for your loss. If it helps, even the slightest, I truly believe loss of a loved one and the profound grief that accompanies it is inextricably tied to the body and nervous system. It seems your sciatic pain time frame coincidences with your loss and your body is grieving too.
Plum is right. The people on this site are like trusted confidants, friends, even family... Day and night, you have a place to turn to. Welcome to the forums... P. S.. I too have low back and sciatic issues... I know how awful and debilitating it can be.
With loving thoughts... Nancy a. k. a Lunarlass66

 

Thank you all for your warm welcome!!! I find myself turning to this forum all times of the day and night. I am just learning and know I have a long journey ahead of me.

 

I'm so sorry for your loss.
I too had my pain start after a severe trauma. I went about all the physical things for 2 years before I was gifted the book. I am so glad you are on the right track so early. I am also new to this forum and I already am reaping the benefits. We are all here for you. Welcome home.

 

Thank you caligirl! I wish I could visit California again. It was my daughters favorite place and brings back good and bad memories to me. She was in rehab there several times. That is the bad but I met some wonderful people during those times that I still have a very special relationship with. Her therapists have become very dear friends. I may have to return to see if they can help me with her death. In Texas we do not have anyone near me familiar with TMS.

 

California is great but I'm a bit biased being born and raised! I'm sorry to hear your daughter struggled with addiction. My daughter is only 11 and I can't imagine going through that with her. Check in with Alan Gordon to see if he can help you locate a TMS therapist in your area. However, I have been doing my therapy with Christie Uipi at PPC all via Facetime and it is fantastic. I didn't think it would work for me at first not being in the same room but it's great. I really hope I can meet them both in person someday so I can hug them both and thank them for helping me. They are in LA and I am in NorCal so that could happen someday! Keep your head up my friend.
Hugs, Jen

 

Focus on the good memories angel. Remember the heart-warming moments, the innocent times, the love you shared and let these help you craft a path that honours her and enables you to grieve well. I send you love and strength.

 

Thank you so much, Spunky, for the videos. The 'treating pain with the brain' is funny and very helpful. I love what he talks about from minute 24. If we feel there is more danger in our lives than safety we get pain. So we look to increase SIMs - safety in me, like enjoying a meal or meeting a friend or looking at a tree...., and decrease DIMs - danger in me, like talking to mother in law or watch the news and so on.... Dim Sum is also a tasty SIM and a good way to remember. So more safety than danger does the trick. We don't have to feel all safe.

 

Dearest LonleyMom,
I too, like Plum and others, cannot fathom the loss and sadness you are living through. I found solace with the loss from the death of my brother through journaling, writing about our relationship and all of the issues, both good and bad, we had shared. The process was not easy. Our relationship was complicated. Having someone to talk too while doing this work can be helpful. Every step you take to heal will be a step in the right direction. Four months is not a long time, be patient with your healing. It will come.
Lainey

 

Lovely and well said, Plum. Different words and measures for the same thing,
Sarno's genius was unaided by today's scans, as Buddha used just his mind to observe his mind and came up with similar conclusions: we create suffering with I, me, mine. Whether it is I hurt, I'm mad, I'm scared, I'm so sad. The answer is not unlike that of ancient meditative practices: observing without getting hooked in.
I am on vacation now and visiting you-all to keep things in check.
So far, so good.
Before Sarno, all kinds of scary things arose when I tried to relax.

 

This is powerful, with wonderful speakers, educators. Thank you. Thank you. The treatment is: knowledge.

 

Do I have to read each section of the program on a separate day or can I read day 1, 2,3 at the same time? Is it advised to take it slow?

 

I can understand that my pain is not a result of a physical injury or abnormality and does not pose further physical threat. I know that I don't have to fear injury. Easy. But I can't shake the fear of the onset of the pain itself (it is the most excruciating pain I have ever experienced, how can I NOT fear that?) or the embarrassment that comes with it, as I have chronic lower back pain that makes me spasm and fall to the ground. This most often happens at work when I am on my feet for extended hours. I am a bartender. When I have an episode it is alarming to customers and humiliating for me.

Also, while I understand there is no physical threat to my body, what about the threat of the pain affecting my ability to work and support myself and my daughter. I am a single mother without support from my ex. That seems like a logical fear.

This pain has manifested many fears surrounding it, outside of physical injury, and those are the fears I have trouble letting go of.

Unrelated; would it be more advantageous to work through this program one day at a time, or would it be as effective if I read/worked ahead? I am only on day 2.

Thanks.