New Program Day 3: Identifying the Source

Clarity is a beautiful thing. So happy for you. Bask in the light, dear one.

 

Although intellectually I feel that I am tailor made for a TMS diagnosis however, for the past 5 years, I have fallen into the chronic Lyme basket. That also gives one the convenient answers to multiple issues going on and off in your body; anxiety, which has been long standing for me, acid reflux unable to be treated by any medication, insomnia, digestion issues, lower back pain, hip pain, tooth pain, feeling overwhelmed and the list goes on and on. As many Lymies, it was never proven by a blood test that I had Lyme, just by symptoms. I had to embrace that diagnosis as it was the only one that made sense for me and NO doctors that I saw thought that I had anything real so was sent to shrinks to deal with it. To this day, the term psychosomatic, for me, gives the connotation that the pain is not real, just conjured up my the mind. Although that is true, I still feel that that is a judgmental diagnosis that tends to devalue the extent of real issues with people who struggle with this syndrome.

 

Hi Livinginhope... Your struggles with MDs and efforts (seemingly endless) to find an answer/cure sound like the exact same path I'm stuck on... Though mentally, I feel like I've given up. Other than this site, I've given up trying to find anyone who really believes the horrible pain levels I deal with every single day... I have ALL your symptoms... Acid reflux, low back pain, hip pain, foot pain, panic attacks and the isolation associated with it makes it seem so hopeless.
They diagnosed you with Lyme without any definitive lab work confirmation? Were you ever in a situation that would've exposed you to Lyme Disease? Such as hiking, camping... Spending time in the woods? I know exposure can come even from yardwork... Did you ever have a rash(bullseye) or fever early on when your other symptoms began? I too have wondered about Lyme because I've read it can ocurr even without a rash upon onset, but i think that's probably pretty rare... Most times it's classic symptoms... Any fevers? I'm no doctor, but my personal experiences with them have frankly been... Disappointing. They simply DON'T help or seem to even know HOW. Twenty years of school and they can't help people HURT less, I don't get it....
Anyway, you have found a place of solace, love and support... I understand your struggle completely and I empathize...

 

Yes! I still do not know for sure if mine is TMS or structural. But I am much more terrified of triggering long periods of pain or making it worse than I am of injuring myself exercising.

 

Ok Alan stated- gave ex: that when people have consistent pain like in the back with sitting...that points toward a structural spine problem not a "psychogenic" problem and is harder to take care of ? Years ago when I had lower back pain I couldn't sit for over a year...eventually the pain went away. There are many people (even in SteveO's book) where he forced himself to sit to get past the pain on sitting. Many people with LBP complain of not being able to sit. Now I will have pain on one side of my left hip and then the next day the pain will shift to the right hip. I am hoping this is TMS....and not to be confused with a structural issue. Don't need any doubts planted in my brain right ?

 

Right
Remember that TMS is a slippery little fish. The incessant, obssessive, negative thinking is the actual TMS. The body is just the tool it uses to target and amplify it's madness. The body, in and of itself, is a beautiful, natural creature.

 

Plum to the rescue...

 

Alan, that’s an important point — I recall Dr. Sarno saying that with many TMS patients, the pain level would start the day at a low level and get progressively worse through the day — that seems different (dare I say ‘ inconsistent’) with your comment in the assessment video above.

 

I have been suffering with serious knee pain for about 18 months. The MRI and X-Rays show some arthritis. The doctors don't understand the reason behind the pain. My marriage ended about a year ago and been dealing with many stressful events. I believe the source of pain could becoming from my brain. I am looking forward to exploring more of this.

 

After a year of agonizing pain with no identifiable cause, other than the fact I am an old woman, I have given up on the medical industrial complex. They love all the Medicare $$ but they have done nothing but harm me and disbelieved my pain. I even received a veiled accusation I was after opioids!! Finally, I am seeing a TMS therapist. The work is very slow but I have no fear that I will be out of pain soon. This site along with Curable and the many, many books I own by Sarno, Schubiner, Clarke, Steve Connecca, etc. etc. have saved my life.

 

I feel the same. I know my pain isn't some "structural", that it's TMS and muscle tension but my fear is also "I don't want to feel the pain" and hoping that it doesn't last too long. Somehow this feels different. I'm not scared of a degenerative disease , but rather that I'll going to keep having to be in pain and it's uncomfortable and unpleasant!!

 

He gets to that (very common) fear right after this lesson.

 

Wow I love the idea of the daily remnder that we are who we are and we are people with TMS. This could go a long way towards preventing flareups. I feel like I always have an episode when I revert back to my hard driving, perfectionistic, goodist and avoidant ways. It's like I get too comfortable with my recovery and SLIP right back to whats easiest and most natural - the behaviors that caused TMS in the first place.
thank you for this

 

YES the pain can put me in a panic I can't handle the pain .I was on here back in 2013 OR 2014 I had the most INTENSE PAIN my neck shoulders UPPER back my FEET felt like on fire and CRUSHING pain up into my LEGS and BUTT 24/7 I read HEALING back PAIN and another book I would close my eyes and imagin beating up my subconscious person in my brain to leave me alone and it worked .I started pool therapy that felt like it was going to kill me but I kept going then somehow I could do ANYTHING I KNEW I HAD TMS I WAS IN NO PAIN I FELT GREAT FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE THE
BAD ACCIDENT IN 2003 THAT ABOUT KILL ME AND MY HUSBAND I cleaned like a mad WOMAN mowed the lawn raked AND BURNED BRUSH..I kept telling MYSELF I can't believe I'm doing all this it was AMAZING. Then my brother past in Dec 20014 And a Doctor ABUSED me for a year .they made him leave the pain clinic..2016 it came back hard. Then my husband was killed in a bad accident Sept 2016 .I had three emergency surgeries .so much has happened. I tried getting back into to this a few times but didn't make it .so I'm going to try AGAIN. The pain is so bad it scars me and I was also afraid of hurting MYSELF the last emergency surgery they did a job on me got more INJURIES .So hopefully I stay with it and get BETTER. IT CAN BE DONE .BUT I HAVE A FEAR THAT IM TO FAR GONE AND CAN'T MENTALLY FIGHT IT .ITS TO MUCH TO OVER COME..SO THAT PART I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT . SORRY SO LONG

 

So sorry Kim Marie. Sorry for your loss and that you had to go through soooo much trauma recently. You beat it before, and you can beat it again

 

I'm new to this program but belief that the pain I have struggled with for more than a year (after a chiropractor experience gone bad and knee arthroscopy) as exacerbated and made chronic by my mind. I developed a terrible fear of pain. I've had MRIs showing disc herniation in lower back and stenosis in lower and neck. I have had terrible pain in my anterior thoracic/rib cage area for even longer; hence the reason I went to the Chiro. I understand the power of the subconscious mind and I believe in TMS. However, I have a tremoring in my arms that awakens me in the middle of the night and prevents me from falling back to sleep. I am planning on seeing someone to rule out anything structural. I want more than anything to be free from this pain. I've had a lot of trauma in my life. I"ve been very successful in my career but tend toward perfectionism and the other personality traits. I have resumed all activities and I have constant ongoing dialogue with myself. However, it is exhausting and I wonder when it will all end.

I currently live in Japan and will be going back to the states in the next year. My plan is to get psychotherapy upon my return to hopefully work on those deeper issues that are at the root of my pain trouble.

 

@SDTinaS congratulations on the program and even bigger congratulations on recognizing how your past trauma and personality are holding you back. It’s huge to make these connections and this is really the first and most important step to recovery - so GREAT JOB!!
Don’t be daunted by the fact that the process takes time. It does work. It really does. Just do your best to work the program like a warrior. Figure out what pathway to healing is the best and do the work. The healing will follow.
I found the podcasts and journaling program by Nichole Sachs to be my answer - check it out - it’s all online totally free and it cured me. It wasn’t fun at all - it was very hard work but I was willing to do anything to cure myself of the pain. Maybe this will work for you, too?? I hate to think of you waiting a year to get back to the US for therapy.
Good luck!!!!!!!

 

Thank you so much for taking the time to write @srton. I will check out Nichole Sachs.

 

Have you thought about what you might be distracting yourself from and what pain the purpose serves for you?

 

I'm not really sure.... I think the pain is keeping me from dealing with some intense emotions about several issues, recent and past, that I thought I had dealt with. I was never a believer in childhood/early adulthood trauma affecting someone all their life, but when I really think about this past year and some things that happened, I'm leaning toward believing that. My husband certainly does and has had a lot of psychotherapy for childhood issues.