day one

Hello everyone, I am new here. I've been watching this site for a few days now and have decided to begin the program.
I have suffered really badly from TMS for the last couple of years. Looking back, I think that I have had symptoms all my life. Sometimes bad, sometimes not so bad. The final straw came when I started to get many more headaches and some frighteningly severe migraines. I was worried about how many I was getting and other people started to really frighten me by asking if I had a brain tumour etc. etc. (people can be so helpful).
Looking back, I had started to say things like, "I can cope with any pain as long as its not in my head" then 'hey presto!' the headaches began!
Doctors overmedicated me and I thought I had 'medication overdose headache' so I spend a painful six months with absolutely no pain relief at all. Then I thought that my brain had a hand in what I was going through so I went to a hypnotherapist. She told me that my brain was responsible for my pain but couldn't explain how and so I had trouble believing her. Also, she practised 'solution based therapy' and so I was encouraged to thing about the future and forget the past (no good for getting rid of unconscious anger).
I finally discovered TMS by accident just after Christmas and have read several books so far. I am 75% cured, mornings are my worst and I am still suffering some kind of symptom most days. Like a lot of people I dream of the day when I can finally say I HAVE IT BEAT! I think that I am still quite scared of the pain and that is why it is hanging on. Also , I find that I will discover a certain thing that will work brilliantly for a few days, then my brain will think a way around it and it no longer works anymore Does anyone else find this?
If you have read this post to the end, I thank you for hearing my story and I would be really grateful for any words of encouragement and help as most people seem to have back pain and mine, unfortunately is in the one place I'm scared of - my head!

 

Welcome to the forum, moonstone.

Like you I had all kinds of symptoms from childhood. My mother used to suffer from stomach spasms and took a muscle relaxer for the pain. Shortly after I too began to suffer from the same malady. My mother used to share her medication with me which I thought at the time helped. Years later I read about the drug my mother had been prescribed and it turned out it was nothing much more than a sugar pill, a placebo.

I've had migraines from the age of 19 following a nasty break-up with a boyfriend. At the time I lived with someone who suffered from very severe migraines. Yet again my brain picked up on this symptom. I spent more decades than I care to admit missing out on life nursing my aching head. By the time I had a brain scan I was adamant I did not have any tumour because if I had I wouldn't have been alive to have the scan but the neurologist insisted. All was clear and I was put on a daily drug. When I wanted a second opinion years later the next neurologist wanted to put me on a different drug, something they give to people with epilepsy. I googled the drug before trying it and got so freaked out at the potential side effects I threw the prescription away. I struggled on with OTC pain relievers and would take a prescription drug when the pain was unbearable. Eventually I was taking that prescription drug 3-4 times a week. I felt totally incapacitated and thought my life was doomed.

Then I started to suffer back pain and sciatica. I ordered and read a copy of Healing Back Pain and was really more interested in how Dr Sarno managed to get rid of his migraines than anything else. Yes, moonstone, migraines are very definitely a TMS symptom in my opinion and in the opinion of countless others. If you type 'migraine' into the search box above you will come across many forum posts on this topic. Also check out the success stories page for migraine here -http://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/Migraines

I still have the odd migraine but the big difference is I don't worry, get scared or have doubts about the pain being structural or not. I manage to do without any pain relievers most of the time. This has been my most stubborn, long-running symptom and it will take as long as it takes to see an end to it completely. My own journey now involves gaining insights into why I have my symptoms. I've met some really great, inspiring people along the way.

Keep us updated on your progress.

 

Hi Moonstone,

When I first learned about TMS (almost 2 years ago now) I was having migraines just about every day. I had them since I was 4 years old and they progressed in frequency over several decades to the point that I was diagnosed with chronic migraine. I took a beta blocker medication for 18 years that was supposed to prevent them, but didn't do much. I am very happy to say that after about 9 months of using TMS techniques, I was able to rid myself of this lifelong problem. And about 6 months after my last migraine I felt confident enough to start withdrawal from the beta blocker, and have been off of that for about a year now. It still seems like a miracle to me and hard to believe. But if I can recover from migraines just by using the techniques written about on this site, then you can too. There is hope. You are on the right path.

The hardest part in my migraine recovery was getting over my conditioned response to one of my main triggers--changes in the barometric pressure. But I was finally able to do it. Now storms come through, and I don't feel a thing. As @yb44 has said, if you type "migraine" or "headaches" in the search tool, you will find many threads on this topic.

I also overcame 20 years of fibromyalgia with these techniques. I'm still working on some non-pain TMS equivalents, but I know I will recover from these too eventually.

So, welcome to the Forum! You are on the road to recovery. Keep us posted on how you're doing and feel free to ask questions or for support at any time.

 

Thank you both so much for your comments! I am having a particularly painful time today, my neck has locked up and there is a nasty sharp pain in my shoulder. I had a really good day yesterday and so there seems to be no reason for it other than my subconscious is punishing me. It feels so 'real' that the illusion is almost working. It was only when I realised that I haven't really done anything to cause this amount of pain that I concluded that it must be TMS. This is why I am writing now on this forum as when you are trying to believe completely is something you have no physical evidence of, you need the support of others in the same boat. I live in England and as far as I know there are no TMS therapists here (not in Cornwall anyhow) this website is a great connection to you all.

 

It seems as though we are starting this journey together! Our symptoms are a little different but it will be nice to have a pal to share experiences with! Best of luck!

 

Hi Resrie,
Thanks for your message. I think it is important to have support going through a thing like this. I have an amazing husband and loving parents, but in the absence of a TMS therapist, there is no one to talk to who I don't have to feel I need to 'convince'.
The whole basis of beating this syndrome seems to be an unshakable belief in what is going on, this is the hard part when you are having a bad day. I find myself saying to my family, 'it's alright, I expect this, this is how it works' and I look at them and think, do they believe me? Or are they just going along with it to make me feel better. For some reason it matters to have people I don't need to convince, that is why I hope this site will be the much needed support that I have been looking for.
I look forward to hearing your story!
Moonstone

 

You ladies are doing each other a wonderful favor, a show of genuine friendship and concern, by exchanging postings.
We can appreciate that family and friends accept our belief that TMS causes our symptoms, but it really helps to be in touch with others who don't need to be convinced.

Breaking up in a relationship can be very stressful. A longtime friend is going through a divorce and I'm giving him friendship support. He's concerned
about the effect it is having on their teenage son. I know what that's like, from my parents divorcing when I was 7. It left me with feelings of insecurity.
Through TMS journaling I've learned to handle insecurity by believing in myself and God. Believing 100 percent in TMS can be like believing 100 percent in God. Sometimes we hold back a little doubt. But we feel so much better when we ask His help and live in His love. Didn't mean to bring that into
the discussion, but I found faith to be very helpful combined with TM belief.

 

Hi @moonstone and welcome to the forum.

I have experienced a big list of mindbody maladies including chronic migraines. They are no longer an issue for me so I encourage you to continue the psychological work. I also encourage you to deal with the fear. There is hope. Everything can change. I think that reminding yourself that everything can change and change for the better will help diminish the feeling of being trapped.

Keep us posted on your progress!

 

Hi, Moonstone. I like Dahlia's advice, that everything change, and for the better.
Since I learned about Dr. Sarno and TMS two years ago, I am a changed man (almost 75).
I am much more positive. If I get "down" or a new pain comes up, I know it's "just" TMS
and I have to work again on its emotional causes.

We should live in the present moment as much as we can, but we also can benefit by
thinking positive and things can change for the better. Only our mind traps us in fear and hopelessness.
We can turn our thoughts to look forward to better times.

 

Good luck! I'm on day 16. I don't feel much different yet pain wise but Dr Sarno says it may take months to get better. So I am religiously doing the journaling work, and reading everything I can. I know I can do it and so can you!

 

It can take a while to heal. Keep journaling to learn what causes your symptoms.

I'm going to post a short new thread today about belief having a huge impact on how we heal.
It comes from old Cherokee Indian legend. Take a look in a few minutes.

 

Thanks everyone for your kind advice. I am having quite a lot of change in my symptoms at the moment, this is good as I feel I'm consciously having an impact on it - but also exhausting as I keep on having to remind myself of the new ways of thinking. I have had some really good moments over the last few days and I'm sure there are many more to come.
Does anyone else have trouble with mornings? I can go to bed feeling nearly 100% cured and very optimistic about the future, then I wake up and have to start all over again. I don't really understand it as I have generally a good nights sleep, usually 8hrs and enjoy my work and the day ahead. I feel if I could beat this it would make a huge difference to my recovery as all that renewed tension every day much set me back a long way!