Day 1 First Day Starting seriously

Hi , I have been reading Dr. Sarnos books now for over 4 weeks and have not really found I am that much better but I feel a lot more positive. I got my sciatica when I decided to end my marriage 0 in fact it stopped me moving out for 12 months. It has got better but then I got tingling in legs and feet and recently aching in the hands when I got more stress at work. My MRI showed a bulging disc at S1 L5 and some early stenosis with degenerative disc disease which scared the hell out of me. I had a steroid injection which helped a bit but not much. I have along commute to work by car but my back is fine sitting, I get a sore left foot is walking and maybe tingling legs/feet.

I think I fit the personality type well - I was a perfectionist, I worry a lot, am a goodist (or people pleaser) and can suffer from low self esteem. I think both of my parents had low self esteem and I never really got over my dad dieing when I was 14 - I have never really grieved about this although I am in my 50's.

I can see the affirmation working well as I still go on walks and have a fantastic new partner and am determined to not let it beat me. The biggest worry has been with my hands but I can see no reason why they are feeling stiff - it happened almost over night and sometimes they will feel fine when I am not thinking about them

 

Saying you have all of the traits is a great clue, plus you said you have (never really grieved over this) talking about your Dad - that could be some pressure , not allowing yourself to feel your emotions ya know.
Having pain set in after a divorce is a classic (Evidence Sheet) number. You sound like you have TMS. How are you doing now?

 

Now onto day 4 which asks what is the most alarming thing a physician has told me. Well several things. One is that backs are a black art - which fits very well with TMS as you cannot see it clearly. The worst thing after that was the MRI scan I had. The neuro surgeon told me I had degenerative discs at S1 L5 , a herniated disc which is pushing on my nerves. and early stenosis - but he said he had seen it all before. He offered me a choice of painkillers (no thanks), a steroid injection or surgery. Surgery sounded really bad and as I just had numbness in my left leg and pain on my left foot I thought I would go for the injection. This offered some hope but did not really do anything = the doctor who applied it said I had left it too long - nearly 2 years. I went on holiday with my new partner and all was as usual and I went onlong walks and kept active. Yet after coming back I developed tingling in both legs and feet. Then I discovered Dr. John Sarno's book. When I looked at the details of the surgeons diagnosis I learnt that we all have degenerated discs from an early age and this is a terrible term which is bound to increase my fear. Dr. Sarno reckons the herniated disc should do little and he has only seen an operation required once for stenosis. I wonder whether the stress and joy of a new partner is also causing me a problem. I lived in extreme stress in my job for 20 years and for 12 of them my ex was an alcoholic - so lots of stress there too. I have had asthma, hay fever, irritable bowel and lots of head colds. So lots to work on. My hands still feel a bit stiff and tingly yet are good in the morning - as are my legs and feet - I feel this is a programming - being safe in bed away from stress. Also driving has always made me feel relaxed and I often feel good doing this (which seems the opposite to many others experiences). I have noticed how tense my shoulders can get and make a big effort to relax more. I am experiencing more stress at work with new staff in my team and people problems to confront. I still have to finalise my divorce and sell my house so feel financially insecure which I think feeds my anxiety which feeds the TMS.

I think that reading the books and doing this programme has helped my be much more positive and can get me to forget my problem. As I have read elsewhere in this forum the illness seems to be at the forefront of my thought and I have to slowly stop this. I guess when I have had so long to get to this point it may take some effort to get back to a tingle pain and numb free state.

 

One thing I suggest is very simple... enjoy your new partner and that relationship. Let it become the best thing
in your life. Let your life together from today on be foremost in your happiest thoughts. Love is a great healer.