healed for 10+ years

@balto quick question... did you do any journalling? meditation? deep breathing?
Sometimes I think I'm not making a lot of progress because I am trying to do too much
I see advice on here to 'do the tms work' but then at the same time the more I think about tms the more I think about my symptoms and why I have them, sometimes I feel stuck in my own mind on a loop.
For example, you say do not dwell in the past, but the SEP requires me to go back to the past and experience my emotions.
And there are so many posts on here that go into so much detail about fear, pain, outcome independence etc.
Did you simply change your mindset? How?
I am taking your advice on body language, shoulders back, smiling, confident behaviour
But I just get overwhelmed because I think I'm not doing enough!

 

As someone who is in the middle of the road on this and have achieved a good amount of success, but still have a way to go I would say: Progress can not be measured in a linear fashion. I was a few years reading and internalizing Sarno and other data before it actually "clicked". I was not paying attention enough. I would listen to Sarno but then wanted an automatic reaction. I did not journal or tried to get into a relaxed state. Just logically accepted the idea and wanted for it to work the same, by logic. It just does not work like that. When I finally took the meditation and relaxation seriously, and could relax more than just a few minutes(before my brain assaulting me again with turbo typewriter style thoughts), I started to see small changes. I think, it is not to not go into the past and experience the emotion. It is to go in your mind to that moment, and experience the emotion from a SAFE PLACE, and knowing that whatever that emotion caused(fear, rage, etc), can not damage you now. It is facing it, feeling it, and overcoming it. Now, that does not mean you have to stay in your past all the time thinking the same episode over and over. Once you do it once or twice and can handle the episode from a safe place and feel secure, you dont have to go back to it. There is not a metric of "doing too much" or "doing too little". You really have small changes that you notice and then you apply them. And once that small change happens, it will most of the times stay. I was kind of getting frustrated the other day, but then I went over how much better I am now, and that really helped me. You are not supposed to force yourself, just follow protocol, recognize, accept and let it go, then relax. The goal should be to get rid of anxiety and tension, and they both come forward from fear,frustration and rage. If you frustrate yourself ( a mental thing) you are working against you. Love yourself more, accept the small changes and dont overthink it.

 

@JoeHealingTms thanks for your reply, it's good to hear from someone who has made slow and steady progress.

I have myself if I'm honest, my anxiety is lower, my hand pain is gone and my headaches are slightly less frequent.

But my main issue of lightheadedness persists and has gotten worse.

I'm extremely impatient, I journal for 2 days in a row because I think I 'should' be doing it. Almost like I'm going through the motions rather than actually digging deep or writing anything meaningful. And then I get frustrated because I haven't seen any results! Same with meditating... I do it once and expect to feel some difference and get upset that I don't, compare myself to other who seem to have had it so easy and get annoyed with myself.

I'm sure as you said this is not helping and is actually quite counter-productive. I just find it hard to take it slow and be patient when it feels like I now 'know the answer' and therefore should be feeling better like others who say they were better in a week or even overnight!

I thought it was taking me ages because I discovered Sarno 8 weeks ago and I haven't had a 'breakthrough' but like you have just been reading and digesting all the info... I've got a good grasp of the concept now. So perhaps time to relax into the process rather than try to force it.

Just can't shake the feeling I should be always DOING something to help my recovery.

 

Well, that is where knowledge and practice shows their difference. I know how to fix cars and other stuff. I can sit down and explain to you the theory, how to read a schematic, etc, but until I actually grab my tools and go and do something that car is not going to fix itself. I am going to recommend you a book that I have recommended here a thousand times. It is called the genie within. It have step by step exercises to relax and reach your subconscious. I found that with the first basic exercise practiced while in bed before sleeping, and when I wake up, it helped me tremendously. There might be hundreds of other books for me to try but this one helped me. Since you seem to have some personality traits like me, I recommend it to you. I have it on pdf form, so if you want me to send it to you, pm me, or if you want to buy it directly from amazon or the authors webpage, just google the name and you will get the links.

I found that most people that write here are showing exactly what they need to fix to get better. In your case you " think you are trying to do too much", then " I am extremely impatient", etc. Journaling can be done everyday, but the important thing is that it is not structured. You dont even have to be pending to your grammar. Just write and write whatever is in your mind and bothering you, or anything that comes at all. You dont have to analyze it or re read it 10 times. Normally I just write what I have to write and close the page, not to see it again.

Start the meditating exercises daily, but with the goal of just relaxing you body and mind, nothing else, preferably before going to sleep to calm your mind down and have a good sleep, which in general helps with everything else. Learn to BREATH. Many people breath in tension, and when they breath deeply their back and chest hurts. That shows that they are not relaxed enough. Breath deeply and slowly and pay attention to your breathing until you feel your muscles relax. Do not think about anything. Visualize a white wall, or a nice calm beach with a never ending horizon. Breath and every time some though comes at you, just look at the though and dismiss it mentally with an "its ok". If you get Sarno books on audio, it is nice to listen to them when you are falling asleep also, so they get more into your subconscious mind.

 

Thanks @JoeHealingTms , I have just downloaded the audiobook. I think the idea of listening to books so that the message gets through to the subconscious is a great idea, hadn't thought of that. I feel that's my issue so far, that I know the info on the surface level but it hasn't got through to me properly yet.

And thanks for the car analogy, makes sense. Funnily enough my friend laughed at me the other day because I said a beauty product she recommended to me wasn't having much of an effect. Her response was 'Did you actually USE it?' She knows me too well, I had used it a handful of times and written it off. Seems to be a habit of mine - I work in sales and have a very high pressure job and am used to demanding immediate results from myself and my sales team, perhaps that has crossed over into my personal life and subconscious.

Tonight when I journal I will take your advice and write whatever comes to my mind, without the pressure of doing it 'properly'

I have been better at meditating regularly lately, the headspace app has been helping. I'll try your suggstion - sounds like the 'relaxation response' that one of my faves @Walt Oleksy recommends all the time. In fact, whenever I lie down to do the relaxation response I always think of Walt! lol

Thanks for your help Joe, I really truly appreciate it. Your words seem to resonate with me.x

 

Hi Colls100

Your description sounds almost exactly how i felt in my search for healing. I was so focused on getting rid of the pain that I didnt realize I was keeping it alive through my actions.
Like i did, you are searching for answers and doing everything methodically and exactly how you are instructed, yet you don’t see results. This is the problem right now. It’s so hard to explain and I get it. You are desperate to rid yourself of this pain. You are silently jealous and even annoyed at those who have already healed. You keep asking, “what am I doing wrong?” First, take it easy on yourself. Give yourself plenty of praise and kind thoughts. You are OK. You are a good person. You are on your way to permanent healing and you are very intelligent to have found the correct path.
Remind yourself of these things often, make it a habit. Next, get busy on life. That sounds writes but it’s a huge breakthrough when you stop “trying” to heal and just let it happen. What do you like to do with your time? What can keep your mind at ease for a few hours? Painting, cooking, building things, fixing things, running, hiking, hunting, writing a book, coaching, playing an instrument? The point is, make your day positive by adding things that you really enjoy. This will fill your mind with happy emotions. This is the big key. Keep filling your mind with happy emotions day after day and very soon you’ll notice a decrease in pain. You’ll stop spending all of your time worrying about the pain and what you need to do to get well. It’s been said “let go” a lot in TMS healing. It’s simplistic but the very heart of your recovery. Let go of your focus on the pain. Don’t do things that annoy you or fill you with negative emotions if you can help it. So if journaling is a dreaded waste of time in your mind, don’t do it. When you feel pain ir symptoms come on, immediately think of your mindset and what triggered the symptoms. Sometimes it’s just a guess but at least you are now retraining your mind that you know your body is fine. Keep this up every time. At some point you’ll notice that your pain will lessen or even disappear for periods of time. Soon after it might switch to a new location. Notice it, laugh at it and keep on living. Then you’ll realize they your pain is gone. You’ve made it across the river and then you’ll be looking back reaching to help bring others across.
Keep on keepin’on!
Billy

 

@billyp All sounds very familiar. I realised when I read this that I don't have much going on other than work and TMS symptoms. I love cooking, reading, going for country walks, going to the cinema. I've stopped doing some of it because I don't feel 'up to it' but really there is more harm avoiding them isn't there? It's almost too good to be true that the treatment for all this is 'do more of the things you love'

 

Once you cross that threshold into balance and peace of mind it all seems to make perfect sense. I think we have all brought these pain syndromes on ourselves by never quieting our minds and truly just enjoying the present. We are always going, monitoring our phones, waiting for “something” to happen, comparing our lives to everyone else we follow on social media. We are never just at ease. It’s the opposite “dis-ease”
Past generations didn’t have anywhere close to the same amount of back pain, anxiety, depression, IBD, fibromyalgia, autoimmune stuff, arthritis etc because they led much much simpler lives.
Plus I am certain that many of these so-called “diseases” are man-made and would not have proliferated if Doctors and pharmaceutical companies would have never labeled them. Once that happens they take on a life form and people hear about them. Sooner or later the unconscious mind takes advantage of it. As Sarno said, it’s the symptom in Vogue. Right now it’s back pain and joint pain. Until Doctors begin declaring that these conditions are caused by stress, worry and negative emotions, they will continue to overwhelm our society.
Our mainstream medical community is definitely making us worse.
Enjoy your Thanksgiving!

 

Thanks so much! I'm in London so no official Thanksgiving for me but I am definitely thankful for this forum and people like you who help to reassure me so much.

I can relating to the waiting for something to happen... the 'once I have xxxxx I will be happier/feel better' approach. Hasn't served me well so far - time for a new way of thinking.

I can feel that I'm on the right path now

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving x

 

Hey Joe, I've been listening to the genie within, I love it. It makes so much sense alongside Sarno and other things I've read on TMS.

When you said you do the first basic exercise, do you mean the first one related to the book itself - feeling emotions of desire, anticipation and confidence.

Or do you mean the one where you imagine a ball of light relaxing your whole body?

Thanks x

 

Page 45-52 .Alpha conditioning, Alpha state routine , progressive relaxation. Alpha state is very good to get into and do the affirmations of the TMS program, once you learn how to get in and out of alpha state easily. Then later on the book you learn to go into theta mode, which is a deeper relaxation to get in touch with your subconscious. Im glad it is helping you. I have the book pdf, not the audio, but yes , the exercise part start with the ball of light relaxing your body. It is important to learn this exercise first, because all the other deeper exercises requires you to get first to alpha state before getting into deeper relaxation stages. If you need more help PM me. Have a great day. J.

 

Hi Colls,
I meditate and practice breathing. I do those not because I want to heal, I did it because I enjoy doing it and I think it is good for my mind and body. To me, They are more like tms prevention than treatment. I don't journal. I don't believe in journaling (some people will disagree with me on this) . There are the right way and the wrong way to journal and I think that the majority of us did it wrong. Most people would bring back all those bad memories and try to "re live" them, thinking that would cure their tms. By doing that they usually made their tms worse. If you do chose to journal, bring those bad memories back and tell yourself, explain to yourself that you are wiser and smarter now, you are stronger and more mature now, you can handle those event in a much better way. Those event can not hurt you anymore. It is in the past, it is over now. It is just like spilt milk, don't cry over it. DON'T FEAR IT. Unconscious thoughts/memories can only hurt us when we fear it. Doctor Sarno said tms is a distraction to our mind from those unpleasant unconscious thoughts. If those unconscious thoughts are no longer unpleasant or scary to you then you don't need those tms distraction anymore. Meaning no more tms.
Steve O said one of the biggest mistake he saw people did is trying hard to heal. Doctor Weekes said we need to give it TIME. Don't rush to heal. We are anxious when our mind it not where our body is. Our mind keep jumping all over the place. It is either in the past our in the future and rarely stay with the present. The present is where it need to be in order to heal. Living in the Now mean paying attention, focusing our attention on the task at hand, not on our current state of mind. Focus on brushing your teeth, not on how your teeth or your body feel at the moment. Focus on being and having fun with your love one, not on how your body feel at the moment. Focus on controlling your bike when you are riding a bike, not on how your feet our your legs feel at the moment.... you get what I mean.
Any thing you focus on will intensify. If you keep thinking about your sick body then your sick body will get sicker. If you focus on being healthy and happy then you will.
You Will .

 

Hey @balto your post is really inspiring and I have bookmarked it to read when I'm not feeling at my most optimistic

I was wondering, you suffered from a lot of different symptoms and I guess you must have received lots of negative information from Doctors. How did you lose the fear of the symptoms? Was it just by reading the 2 books you mentioned (Dale Carnegie and Claire Weekes)? Or was there any other strategy you used?

 

5 years and 2 days ago I came here to write my first post. Where did the time go? wow! Amazing, time did flew .
I'm still alive, I just don't stop by here as often as I used to anymore. I think I ran out of new thing to write about. I found that I keep repeating myself. Also, I saw many of the people I used to see here are no longer coming here. It feel like going to an old bar and not seeing your old friends there anymore. The new people and all wonderful but somehow it just don't feel the same. It still is a wonderful community but I just don't feel like I have much more to contribute.

I am still alive and kicking. I am on this TMS band wagon for more than 30 years now and I'm tms free for more than 15 years. This is my 5th years anniversary at this forum, I just want to tell everyone that tms can be defeat, you can live a healthy and happy life free of tms. I did it and thousand and thousand of people did it. Once it click with you, once you see the "way" , it is very easy to defeat. It is very very simple of get rid of tms. If you read my first post here you will see that I talked a lot about fear. I truly believe that fear is one of the biggest reason tms symptoms stay with us. If we somehow can get rid of our fear we will get rid of our symptoms. No matter what method you use, no matter what teaching you follow, if you still fear your symptoms you will never be able to get rid of your tms.

Fear only exist in our head. Fear is a horror movie and we are the director. It is a movie no one want to watch. So why not stop making horror movies and start making comedy or love movie? We put to much negative emotion into our mind and we suffer.

People who are happy, at peace and content with life rarely get sick.
Just want to leave you with this very inspiring speech I watch on you tube today, I love it:

 

Eight years ago I posted my first post at this forum. Over the years I got to know so many wonderful people here. I have learned so much from so many of you. I just want to say thank you so much.
I'm still alive and kicking. I'm still involve with mind body learning. I'm still sharing my experience and try to help other as much as I can. Please people. Our mind is one powerful drug. It can kill or hurt us and it can heal or make us strong. The wonderful thing is we can control it. Learn how to do that and you will have a wonderful life no matter what the world throw at you.
Wishing all of us a wonderful and great new year. Be strong.

 

some youtube clips from the teachers that save my life.

HOW TO STOP WORRYING AND START LIVING | Full Audiobook By Dale Carnegie | SUCCESS - YouTube

 

PART 1

 

HOPE AND HELP FOR YOUR NERVE - PART 2

 

PART 3

 

PART 4