1. Alan has completed the new Pain Recovery Program. To read or share it, use this updated link: https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/painrecovery/
    Dismiss Notice

How do I let a girl know I'm not interested in her without hurting her?

Discussion in 'Community Off Topic' started by Davideus85, Sep 7, 2021.

  1. Davideus85

    Davideus85 Peer Supporter

    A couple weeks ago I went on a date with a girl who lives over a hundred miles away. I knew right away that I wasn’t interested in her, but I went with it because I’ve been incredibly lonely. She is a very sweet girl and we have a lot in common but she is very overweight and I’m just not physically attracted to her. We ended up being very physically intimate, which I think was a mistake. After I went home, we talked for a couple days, and she announced that she really wanted to see me again so she was renting a car and booked a stay at a nearby motel so she could see me. I thought this was really weird but I just went with it and we spent a couple days together. She made it clear that she was really into me, and I really tried to give it a chance, but I just found myself counting the hours until she went home. Since she went home, she’s been calling me many times a day. Today she just professed her undying love for me, saying that she “knew the moment she met me that she was in love with me”. I really have no idea how to respond to this. I feel so guilty because I led her on, and I don’t want to hurt this girl. What do I do?
    RittaZoe236 likes this.
  2. Ellen

    Ellen Beloved Grand Eagle

    I say, be honest with her in the kindest way possible. We can't control how others feel, and to think so is a recipe for TMS.
    RittaZoe236 likes this.
  3. Nyoibo

    Nyoibo New Member

    Be straightforward and honest, but also gentle if you can be. She may be upset of course depending on how much she likes you but as Ellen says, be honest and kind. It's never fun letting people down but unless you want to keep stringing her along until she gets bored I think you need to deal with it now.
    RittaZoe236 likes this.
  4. Ryan

    Ryan Well known member

    You don't have to be nice tell her your not into her. Don't feel guilty
    RittaZoe236 likes this.
  5. Pauly95

    Pauly95 Newcomer

    Be honest and tell her kindly.
    RittaZoe236 likes this.
  6. W@rrior32

    W@rrior32 New Member

    These situations are never easy and almost every time someone is going to be hurt. Now that that's out the way we can accept that and make it as easy on her as possible by communicating and being honest, no matter how hard it is.

    Sometimes, it's better to just rip the band aid off quickly so to speak aka let her know as soon as you know that it's not going to work. In a nice way of course.

    All we can do is be honest and hope they understand. At the end of the day it's not your job to make them understand nor is it your responsibility to feel sorry either. You just have to be honest as it's the right thing to do and It will help things.

    Good luck with this, it's most likely going to hurt you a bit to do this too...
  7. healthpack09

    healthpack09 Newcomer

    For sure just be honest and do it sooner rather than later. but please be gentle with your honesty.
  8. DianeKelly89

    DianeKelly89 Newcomer

    Be honest and kind.
  9. JaneSandyJane

    JaneSandyJane Peer Supporter

    The sooner you let someone know that a relationship isn't working, the better off you'll both be.

Share This Page