How do we get those repressed emotions out of the basement????

Caring is an emotion alive and well on TMSWiki.org.
But I don't see it at at all in the neighbors on my block.
I might as well be invisible to my immediate neighbors on either side of me
and to those up the block. You'd think they'd call or email me or ring my doorbell
to see if I'm alive or need a few groceries while they're shopping, or help with the snow
in my driveway. Nope. And I've given Christmas and Easter presents to all their kids
and grandchildren for the past twelve years.

Why do so few people care about anyone but themselves and the people in their house anymore?
Kids next door and on the block? They're too busy playing computer games and shooting basketballs
to care. They don't even care about spending time with their adorable dog. I never see either the
boy or girl walk or play with them outdoors or indoors. They're not being taught to care.

Twelve years ago I lived in another suburb and everyone on our block cared about each other
and shared. Maybe times have changed.

I try not to let it give me TMS by showing I care for others, even strangers.
That's when strangers become friends, like those I've met on TMSWiki.

Another emotion "Gone with the Wind" is civility.

When Art Linkletter who wrote the book Kids Say the Darndest Things
was asked when he turned 80 what he missed most in the passing years
and he said, "Civility."

Have we lost that because of movies, tv, and pop music and books that emphasize violence
and fantasy and vampires? I think our minds and young people's minds are being poisoned.

That's why I prefer watching old movies, listening to old songs, reading old books.

The good old days were really good.

Thank God dogs haven't changed. They still care.

I hope this doesn't sound like I'm Scrooge. I still care and that's the most important thing.

 

Walt, I so agree. Sometimes, I, too get discouraged how times have changed. I remember
when my neighborhood was so caring and took time for each other. I try to stay in touch
with my neighbors but they seem like they are too busy. I would enjoy having some of
them for tea at my home but it seems there is no interest. So, I enjoy having my friends
to my house not from my neighborhood and so enjoy them.

Tonight, I am enjoying the company of my daughter and husband as we order chinese food
out and put a fire on. I only wish Walt that you were here to join us. You could bring Anne
and she could play with my two dogs. In fact, it would be wonderful to meet many of the
wonderful friends from this TMS wiki. I am sure we would have a great gathering together.

One thing I do have to say, as I am on this journey, I have reached out to so many old friends
and I am pleasantly surprised that we are renewing are friendships. I feel so blessed by that.
There is always a silver lining.
G.R.

 

WALT: I think people are too (overly) busy in their own lives and end up being consumed by their own issues. (Not that I want to make excuses for people.) It is sad that it has become this way.
Sending you hugs!

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On Journaling topic. You also need to believe that the journaling is going to be beneficial. So the saying “I’ll believe it when I see it” is actually backwards. It should be “when I believe it, I will see it”.

Best wishes everyone!!!

 

GR and Lori,
I guess I don't really need neighbors ringing my doorbell anyway.
Annie and I are happy and busy enough with our best friends.

 

I just had a small success with meditation.
I was talking with my neighbour and suddenly felt sad. I don't know what triggered it, but I left and decided to sit in a chair and start breathing. All kinds of people and situations flew by, but I couldn't decide what it was that made me sad. Then when I started to just focus on any symptoms (little pains and discomforts) I asked my mind to just let those emotions pour out. Well, they did. My whole body started to react and my breathing got heavier. Muscles started to spasm and my eyes started to become watery and all I could think was, 'thank you... thank you'. I just thanked my mind and urged to let it all out. Amazing experience.
It felt very much like a tug of war between my brain and me to out emotions. There is still some emotion left, but I feel good that I managed to open the floodgate just a little.
Now I am going to treat myself to a homemade spaghetti dish.

 

Wow, I love this reply -- you go. You accept the fact that some friendships just aint meant to be but the way you speak about your friend ships you have and how you feel blessed with that and making the effort to renew old friendships and enjoying the experience is awesome -- on the money. You have all the journaling you'll ever need right there.
Some of us don't need express on paper if were expressing in a profound way to our relationship in life and nature cause when we experience the beauty of togetherness we aint repressing anything, enjoying every experience is what I hear in your post.
I heard Dr. Wayne Dyer explain how he made a decision to make the best out of going to see his in- laws and when his mother - in - law started talking to him to tell him a story he really paid full attention with intention to what she was saying and he said within 5 minutes he was intrigued with her story. All we have to do is get genuinely interested in other people and then we can have a joyful experience.
Bless You

 

“when I believe it, I will see it”. - I love this quote, thank you --

“You'll see it when you believe it.” Dr Wayne Dyer

 

This is beautiful Gigalos, you experienced your style of focusing. I love it - thanks

 

Gigalos, your breathing and dealing with your emotions that made you sad are great
techniques for healing. You took time for it.

Maybe next time also try laughing. I can laugh away just about any pain or stressful situation.

 

You sure have been a best friend to all of us Walt.
Thank You buddy

 

Indeed Walt, I often finish a meditation with a little smile on my face. But I felt that I had to give it some time, this time, to allow emotions to surface. It just felt like something that needed to come out... like a zit that needs popping; it hurts in the beginning, once it opens under the pressure and the crap comes out, the pain fades

 

Gigalos, we don't have to try to laugh all the time.
Yes, let emotions come to the surface so you can deal with them.
When they need to come out, then let them.

I often let the emotion do its thing, like a volcano erupting.
Then when I let the firestorm erupt, I laugh and tell myself it
isn't or wasn't such a big thing. I find that it seldom is the big thing
that caused me anger or stress.

It also helps to change the focus or mood.
Positive imaging can take us to more peaceful mindfulness.

 

A word on journaling: I found that a number of my clients have found journaling to be very helpful in both organizing their thoughts and as a tool to observe their emotional patterns. For example, keeping paper and pencil nearby in order to record what kinds of self-defeating/bullying thoughts you have throughout your day can help you to recognize them more quickly. However, some of my clients feel like journaling is forced or contrived and find it to be frustrating. To those of you who really don't enjoy it, I would encourage you not to push yourself into taking it on, as it can quickly become another source of stress and obligation. The internal bully can quickly take over the process and give the message that "Unless you journal every day for X amount of time, you won't be able to see what's happening with you, you won't be able to access your emotions and you won't be able to get better". Journaling is a part of your toolkit, there for you if you want to use it. Just as with many of the other techniques discussed on the wiki it should not be a crutch to lean on, one that should you not be able to do it, will spiral into a sense of desperation. Journal when you can, when you feel it will help you. Don't force yourself by thinking it is the only way to access buried emotional issues.

Like Gigalos, I have found both with myself and with many of those I work with that mindfulness can be incredibly helpful. Sitting in mindfulness and focussing on how your body feels, attending to the pain, putting attention on the symptoms without necessarily trying to change them can allow you to open up to the emotions that are behind them. As you sit and feel your TMS symptoms, what is the emotional feeling that comes with that? Do you feel sad? Angry? Hopeless? What are the physical sensations associated with those emotions besides the pain? By asking these questions in an open and non-judgmental way you can open the path towards insight. If, like Redditor, you feel like you simply don't experience a wide variety of emotions, you can ask yourself if that has always been the case or if it is a more recent development. Sometimes reflecting on a situation, however remote in the past, in which we felt powerful sadness or anger can offer insight into what is blocking that feeling from coming forward in the present.

 

Redditor, I think due to different situations in our lives, it may be difficult to feel our feelings. I remember
it took me a long time to feel my feelings. Sometimes, our feelings are in a vacuum and we don't even
know they are there. I do know journaling has helped me come to experience feelings from the past
that I did not even know I had. It was quite a shock to me. I was so surprised that I cried so hard but
felt so good. I am trying to be aware daily how I feel and not to just push them under the carpet which
is so easy to do.

I try to connect the symptoms I am experiencing with my emotions. This has taken a lot of hard work
since I had so much trouble identifying the feelings. I just keep at it and I am getting much better
not only in feeling my emotions but also expressing them. I know this holiday my two adult children
were driving me a little bunkers while we were driving to a family member's home. I just expressed
myself to them and it was not well received but I thought that is O.K. because I needed to express
these feelings instead of letting them slide. It was very powerful for me. I thought this is really good
because these feelings will not be repressed.

I do agree with Bruce at first my feelings were not socially accepted but I had to be O.K. with that
even though it felt uncomfortable. I think it just a good idea to try to listen to what we are saying
on a very subliminal level. Meditation, I think is good tool to help us feel.

Hope this helps.

 

Thanks for this thread. I've been doing Schubiner's program also. Not religiously everyday but I do try and get some journal time in at least every other day. I've had immediate results in getting my feelings expressed on paper. I can feel the energy shift as I let all my unspoken words and feelings out. I was shocked, really, to feel it shift so quickly. I can't seem to hold on to it though but as I'm writing this, I realize I need to focus on the shift that happened and not the recurrence of pain. Today I was on a beautiful walk with my partner and dogs. It was a supremely gorgeous, clear warm day and the Golden Gate bridge was showing off all her glory... And I was in pain! And I was mad, that it was interfering with my day. I used the restroom and just allowed myself to feel the frustration and cried a little. By paying attention to the frustration and not fighting it, I physically felt a little better. Then reminded myself to think about where I was a year ago - Not being able to go for a long walk - and to try and keep my attention on the beauty of the day. Its a practice - this healing stuff! Like meditation!