Day 10 How My Treatment is Progressing

I am now completing Day 10 of the SEP. After having read both "The Mindbody Prescription" and "The Way Out" a second time, I began practicing somatic tracking around the same time I started this Structured Education Program. Initially, I felt as though I was having some success with having fewer headaches. But, now that I am actively engaged in journaling and completing other various assignments, I feel an increased level of stress and seem to be having more frequent headaches. I've suffered with chronic headaches/migraines for at least 40 years and am anxious to start seeing some results from the TMS program. I keep reminding myself to approach the assignments/exercises with a sense of joy, as opposed to pressure and preoccupation, but I have confirmed my suspicion that I do not enjoy journaling whatsoever. For me, it's a chore. And, a very unpleasant one, at that.

I am convinced that pain can be caused or exacerbated by repressed fear and anger and that the TMS program has healed many people. At this stage in the program, I am struggling with two concepts. First, while I have no doubt that the psychological component is a huge factor in causing my pain (headaches, IBS/SIBO, eczema, tendonitis, etc.), I still believe there might be a physical component to my headaches, such as, swelling or inflammation. My headaches are consistently caused by the same triggers (fatigue, stress, direct sunlight, or a rare alcoholic beverage) and the pain is consistently located in my temples, stretching across my forehead. I really haven't been able to compile much of an evidence list would suggest my pain is entirely psychogenic but definitely believe that my emotional state can impact the severity of the pain.

The second TMS concept I am struggling with is how we can heal though journaling and revisiting unpleasant experiences from our past. I actually have so many of these experiences stored in my memory banks, it's difficult for me to know where to begin. Since I was very young, I have often laid in bed with these thoughts cycling through my mind, one wave after another. It's a rare occasion when I am actually able to stop this viscous cycle and shift my thoughts to something more pleasant, in spite of how badly I want to. And, while I understand that having even more negative thoughts is somewhat expected during this stage of the TMS program, I'm afraid that's where I'm at right now. I do hope that these thoughts eventually subside once I become more adept at practicing the TMS techniques and that I am able to heal.