How to calm in a crisis ?

I intended to set up CDBaby account last year and ughhhhhhhh couldnt be bothered... so no... dont sell mp3s but... if you have an email account you can pm me and I'll fire a bunch of mp3s to you if you wish.

Leoooooo

 

That's really kind of you.
Will pm you now.

 

Great post, Plum. It really hit home. I found myself tossing my laptop and hitting my bed repeatedly in a blind rage. I guess I have some repressed anger in me after all. I'm a bit of an artist too, or at least I aspire to be. It is as you say, the way the world is it just strangles the good out of everything and everybody. I'm just sick of it, sick of the people who find something beautiful and have to strangle the life out of it. The last time I saw my psychologist he used the square peg analogy. I guess it really is true. I don't fit in anywhere, and never have. I've always been on the outside looking in. People don't understand me, and I don't understand them either to be frank. I wasn't really picked on or bullied as a kid, but I just always felt out of place. Now as an adult I really don't fit in, and things get a lot more serious when you are expected to hold a job and support yourself, yet you fail at everything you try. And there's the wonderful recurring thought that my life's probably half over anyway at best and I'll probably end up dying having accomplished nothing.

 

cirrusnarea, hello love,

I suspect this is a sore nerve for many of us. Like you, I have never really fit in and it took me a long while to realise that the archetype of the outsider is there for us to inhabit. This is best done gently and quietly, like a changeling who dons a cloak of invisibility when out in the world. Have you read Colin Wilson's 'The Outsider'? Or the early Stuart Wilde books such as 'Affirmations', 'Silent Power' and 'Whispering Winds of Change'. The best is 'The Infinite Self' which distills it all nicely. His later books are not good.

Another archetype that may ring a bell with you is the rebel. Again this has it's beauty, you may be a peaceful warrior and an artist. We do what we must to keep the roof over our head but when we are safe under that roof we unleash our creative force. If you feel artistry within you, you must give it life without judgement.

Don't fight who you are. Let yourself out.

 

Hi Plum,

I haven't read any of those books, I have read very few self help books mainly because when I did I was too afraid to act on the advice recommended. It's always just been easier to run from my emotional issues, or hide in things like music or movies. Now that I'm in pain and can't get out of it, that isn't an option any longer. It just seems like the longer I'm in pain, the harder it is for me to be optimistic, I've had a lot of ups and downs the past year. It just seems like I make a lot of progress and then have a horrible setback. The day I committed myself to the idea that I have TMS I was pain free for two weeks, I was really on top of the world, but then I had a relapse and it's been an uphill climb ever since.

Yes, I see myself as a rebel too. I took a personality test many years ago and the result was "Loyal Rebel" It really resonated with me. It was fine when I was young and had no responsibilities, but now that I have to find a way to work and support myself, my life is literally on the line. And now feeling like I'm half-disabled from the pain, things are that much worse.

Anyway, I added the books to my amazon wishlist. I find I am most inspired when things are going well in my life. Right now I'm just too down to create.

 

Don't worry sweetness, there comes the day when it all falls into place. When you're down, be down. Snuffle around in the roots, get to know your shadow side, embrace it. The beautiful aspect of this is that you learn what your strengths are. Seek them out. They are there. Screw self help books. Most are superficial and immature. The best books to read are the classics of faith because they are not based on the ego. This is why popular psychology books fail us, they borrow/steal truths and water them down. You don't need that. Listen to your heart.

Shooting from the hip here, I agree that responsibility and bills and the whole grown up shebang sucks. I ache for simpler times. Sometimes I lose myself in the fantasy of it. However I do my best to find balance by committing to a simple life. Sometimes I wish I could be rescued from my own life but invariably that is a sign I'm neglecting it.

Do what you must to pay the rent but make time for creating. The very best art is ruled by Saturn because it has depth, meaning and relevance. Don't be afraid to commit your darkness to the page in whatever form that means to you. Art is a lifeline out of that hole. If nothing else, post here. It may save your sanity and there are many good, good souls who will take your hand.

God bless.

 

Can anyone help me? I've read the book and agree with every word. I am the person who is described as the kind of person that suffers from TMS. I am a believer and found that even as I read the book I was feeling better. That was a few days ago and since then I've been going downhill. The back pain is far worse and I'm terrified that I'm stirring up my old problem of prostatitis! My problem is that I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing to alleviate my symptoms. I've stirred up problems and don't know how to get out of them Help please!

 

Hi Seano, I suffer from prostatitis too, and as long as you have had tests done and there is no infection, I can say with confidence that it is a TMS condition. I'll be happy to share my story with you. I have back pain as well now. So it seems like we share alot of symptoms. First of all, you can't rush recovery or put it on a schedule of any kind. Success just comes with patience and time. I have ups and downs as well, right now I'm in a trench too. It's scary when the pain comes back, but there is a lot of hope. Which book have you read?