Day 1 I want to be healed

Because I’m using a translation tool, my sentences might sound a bit awkward. Thank you for your understanding.

It took me a long time to properly start the TMS program. That was because of my perfectionism. I believed I had to follow the program “perfectly” in order to heal, and that belief made it hard to begin. But after reading Dr. John Sarno’s books multiple times, I feel that his teachings have started to sink in naturally. Now, I think I’m ready. It may not be the “perfect” time, but breaking free from perfectionism is also part of the work I need to do. (Just now, I spent about 30 minutes choosing a nickname to sign up on this site.)

I’ve suffered from the following chronic pains for the past 10 years: lower back pain, terrible nerve pain in my thighs, ankle pain, plantar fasciitis, tension headaches, pain in my neck and back, shoulder, elbow, and wrist pain, trigger finger, irritable bowel syndrome, acid reflux, stomach issues, insomnia, dizziness, lymphadenitis…

I’m currently 29 years old, but I’ve never had a proper job. I’ve seen countless doctors and specialists, but none of them were able to fix my pain. The pain would just move to another place or come back again. Like many people on this forum, this feels like my last resort.

Without TMS, I believe I could live like an ordinary 29-year-old—spending time with someone I love, working at a job, being recognized for my efforts (although I know I don’t need that, my TMS personality craves it!), earning money doing something I enjoy, and taking responsibility for my own life. I’ve relied on my parents all my life because every time I truly wanted to do something, pain would appear and ruin everything. There are so many things I want to do, but the pain doesn't allow it. That makes me feel hopeless and deeply sad.

But after reading Dr. Sarno’s book and following his guidance over the past few weeks, I’ve felt significant pain relief. And I’ve felt hope. Even if I can’t do it perfectly, I want to complete the program to the end.

 

Welcome Wolfgang. I'm sorry you've had to deal with so much. As you see TMS symptoms are in a constant fight for atention.

It shouldn't be. Every doctor in any area should ask their patients about their mind state. But that's not how the medical system works, for a lot of reasons...

You'll find a lot of resources and people here to help you in your journey. Besides that, stick to the success stories, not only here but on YouTube and podcasts (Jim Prussack's, Mindful Gardner's, Dan Buglio's, Nicole Sachs', Tanner Murtagh's, Dan Ratner's, Jen Johnson's etc). These stories always help us find a north when things look grim. Also, you'll see different approaches and slowly but steadily build your own.

You're not alone.

 

I'll also add Dr. Claire Weeke's book Hope and Help For Your Nerves. It's a wonderful book.

It's perfectly (ha! I crack myself up) normal to want to do this program perfectly. Don't beat yourself up too much about it. We've all faced this at the beginning, and sometimes even here and there. You've got this and we believe in you. Be raw, be honest, and don't be afraid!

 

@Wolfgang
This isn’t your last resort. It’s the ONLY resort. It’s the correct diagnosis for what’s going on with you.

(The medical world doesn’t acknowledge the mind-body connection. And it might never acknowledge it. So, you’ll find no remedy there.)

The thing that’s hard for most of us to accept is that TMS healing is done by us. We have the power to heal ourselves. Such a crazy concept compared to passively going to the doctors and letting them do whatever they want— which for TMS patients never works. Why? Because they don’t diagnose correctly.