Pain Upon Waking

Thanks Bruce. Yes I have certainly seen how not paying attention to it can help dissipate the pain.. That is why I think it drops off in the day as I get distracted by 100 other things. I also know that as soon as I think about it and expect it to come on it gets worse. I used to have trouble sitting in the car and in movie theatres. Now it happens when I am not going to be in my own bed or when my boyfriend stays. I have realized that this is a bit like the panic cycle where the fear of fear creates and ramps up the panic attack. In my case fear of pain ramps up the pain.

 

Lily Rose, thank you for your encouragement. Your pattern of pain is very like mine, as is your age, so if you can do it so can I. My pain started in my mid 20s. It is obvious that if I am feeling nothing then it must be repressed. That must have sounded silly of me. But I have had lots of situations that I have identified that could well be causing the pain. And I have tried to journal about them and do feel emotional then, but it doesn't make the pain go. I wonder though if you lose the pain you might be overcome with terrible fear and nightmares instead? I have a daughter with that problem and it is extremely debilitating.

Briefly reading your story, my heart goes out to you. I hooe things are improving.

 

Thanks Eric. I am onto the program and excited that this might be the solution. I have picked up the Sarno book a couple of times in the last 20? years but got distracted by another treatment and dismissed it. If only this support network had been here then! I am in Australia and few people have even heard of this. Thanks for eveyone's advice.

 

This time do the work and hang with us jaz. You wont be disappointed. I suppose as you can tell we are like a family here. We look after one another and we care for each other. It's a lot more than just advise. We all want to see you recover and get this tms behind you so you can move on with your life. We all are friends here jaz. Welcome friend. Bless You

 

You didn't sound silly at all. Sometimes it takes writing things out to see.

I have journaled for years, and the pain never changed in any way. Until my early 30's, I had crippling nightmares and even more crippling pain. Several times, it plunged me into suicidal depression. Eventually, the nightmares eased, but the pain deepened.

Vicodin and gabapentin made the pain so much more manageable. I begin to accept the diagnosis and statement that Fibromyalgia (and related issues) were going to be with me the rest of my life, and I 'should just get used to it'. After getting some good sleep, and moving to a safer environment, I began to resist that idea. One day, one very blessed day, I came across TMS. I mulled on it, read the posts, made alot of posts, and let the concepts seep within. One day, I was ready, and I stopped the day-time dosage of vicodin. Scary scary .... but then ... not. Nothing much happened. I just didn't need it.

You say - I wonder though if you lose the pain you might be overcome with terrible fear and nightmares instead? I have a daughter with that problem and it is extremely debilitating. You have planted a seed by fearing this. If you are a visual person, get out your little garden tool and pluck that seed right back out of the soil and toss it in a sealed garbage can.

Worrying about 'what if' will not serve you on this journey. You might have nightmares. You might not. I certainly had a serious one last week ... the worst in years and years. After the hic-up crying ended (which was a release), I gave myself a gentle reminder that this is nothing to fear. When I woke up again, I was sad for the content of the dream ... and I mourned for that child, but then I let it go. I could not let the past re-tether me.

I am very sorry to hear about your daughter. It is harder to watch someone you love suffer than it is to take it on yourself. Perhaps as YOU get stronger, she might be able to learn from you.

You can do this.
You will always have support here.

I believe in you.

with grace and gratitude,
^_^

 

Thanks again Eric and Lily Rose for your support. I will no doubt have more questions as I proceed but the advice from Claire Weekes is useful. It does help to simplify it. One of my problems is I get easily overwhelmed, distracted by detail and then confused. I just need to get on with it...or rather as I am learning let it happen!

 

'The Trauma Spectrum' by Robert Scaer, M.D. (2005). And there I found a plausible explanation. I'll quote his words as it's rather complex and I don't want to get it wrong by rewording it. Dr. Scaer (who is a neurologist and trauma researcher) states:

"Interestingly, the phenomenon of awakening with pain in fibromyalgia and other trauma-related skeletal pain syndromes is linked to, I believe, a symptom of muscular bracing combined with abnormal vasomotor tone during the dream--or rapid-eye-movement (REM)--cycle of sleep. As I have noted, one of the roles of dreams is to integrate the day's stressful or threatening experiences with past procedural memories of threat and trauma in order to replenish and expand the survival brain's storehouse of remembered survival skills. In the victim of complex trauma, this storehouse is overflowing with memories of danger. Accessing these memories at the onset of dreaming sets off muscle bracing in patterns of learned attempts at failed self-defense from old traumatic experiences. The muscle bracing reenacts what the body did during the traumatic event. It also sets off activation of autonomic cycling that causes abnormal patterns of constriction and dilatation of blood vessels, primarily in the regions of the body that were involved in these old traumatic experiences. Constriction of blood vessels in muscles that are contracting causes severe pain, as in a heart attack. This leads to immediate awakening with pain, often in the core of the body--the head, neck, or back--which must be braced before any other self-protective behavior can begin. Therefore, the symptom of awakening with pain is, at least in part, related to arousal, or the sympathetic limb of the exaggerated autonomic cycling in trauma."

Hello,
I'm new on this forum. I have been lurking and learning for awhile.
Ellen, your quote from Dr Scaer really hit home for me. It gives me a real understanding as to what is going on for me nightly. You posted this almost a year ago and I was wondering if you ever figured out how to resolve the problem.
Thanks so much.

 

Savtala,

I'm glad you found the quote from Dr. Scaer helpful. I haven't woken up in pain in many months. In fact I'm painfree now. The only reason I haven't posted my success story yet is that I am still dealing with insomnia. But I have no doubt that by continuing to use TMS healing techniques I will heal from it all. In particular, mindfulness meditation and deep breathing have been helpful. But I also had to have the courage to give up all medication, and once I did that have made it very close to the finish line.

Best wishes to you on your healing journey...

 

Yes jaz just focus on 1 thing at a time. Thinking about more than that will lead to confusion and confusion will lead to anxiety. You have got the right ideas.
Bless you