Painful memories, is there a middle age crisis?!?

I'm not at ease. 10 years ago, my ex wife, developed breast cancer. It was my fault, because I start having chronic pain, and turned her life miserable, some years later she was diagnosed with cancer. After reading about Sarno, and what emotions can do. After overcoming chronic pain, I understood why she had develope breast cancer. It was clear like water. I read a lot about cancer, and understood it's all TMS. It's all the same. I read people that cured themselves of cancer just because they calm down their system, so I try hping her. I strongly went against her decision of doing the conventional treatment. I got furious. I still am. I feel regret if making her suffer during my awakening to TMS, and frustrated because she chose to do the conventional treatment. She doesn't believe about TMS, although she witness my recover from hell. That's when our marriage fell apart. But I love her. She still thinks I abandon her. That if it wasn't for her, and the conventional treatment, she would have died. We know what doing the conventional treatment means. Once you fell on that trap you will never come out. They are constantly scaring her, saying that cancer come back at any moment. After 6 years, I still feel this resentment. I still feel guilty, and I still live her, and want to transmit all my knowledge about what emotions do to yourself. I'm really afraid I can't live without her. She doesn't want to come back or be with me. And my inner child wants her back. If I love her, if I know I'm right about TMS, why doesn't she come back? If I did all for love. I didn't invent anything.

As for me I still feel this annoying sensation on my throat. This choking sensation, this Globus that never went away since September. I'm sure it's psychosomatic but it is still driving me crazy.

 

I don't want to come across as combative or critical (because it isn't my place) - suffice to say (because others will see this) that not everything is TMS and to suggest so is dangerous (this is coming from a TMS coach).

Whilst I appreciate the theory that cancer comes about through emotional/psychological processes (at least some of the time I don't disagree), it happens because of other reasons too. People can heal themselves via the TMS approach, but because of other factors it wouldn't always work.

I don't agree with your comment about conventional treatments when it comes to cancer - I understand your premise (which applies more to non-life threatening things - such as seeing a physiotherapist for a bad back), but many people do get better through the medical approach (especially when it is detected early). Going down the TMS route with cancer and abandoning conventional methods is extremely risky, and is something that I'm not sure I would do personally unless I was at late stage and out of options (i.e. the conventional methods would only prolong my time and had no chance of getting me better). That's definitely not a decision you can make for someone else.

 

Everybody knows that watching your hair falling down as a result of chemotherapy is a sign of health ?!?! The conventional cancer treatment is a fraud - Linnus paulling. Weakening your immune system?!?? You would never give chemo to an health person, but you give it to a suck one?!how big is the brain wash. In meantime big pharma profits are increasing, while people with cancer is also increasing. Cancer is TMS. Dr hammer already proved it in the 80s with a success rate of 95% with his patients. As a result of such achievement, big pharma removed his medical licence.

 

I couldn't find anything to back up this claim of success rate - all that I did find was that an eight year old girl with kidney cancer almost died and the court had to intervene to give her court-ordered chemotherapy because her parents followed this guy's ideas and decided not to pursue conventional treatment - the chemo saved her life (thank goodness). That probably had a lot to do with the removal of his medical license.

I understand that you're dealing with your own guilt (which I think is unfounded because from what you said I don't think you caused your ex-wife's cancer), but at least think of children like that (and children in general - the idea that every child with cancer has TMS makes no sense) before you make such claims. I'm not saying that it can't be TMS, but you're taking it too far.

 

Just my opinion. Cancer in and of itself is NOT TMS. Now can our immune systems get overwhelmed and make it potentially more likely? I can see that.

If people choose to take the non-Westernized medicine approach to cancer, that's their decision, but it shouldn't be promoted as the only way. Of course chemo is toxic. We all know that. Just like we don't push a one size fits all approach to TMS, we shouldn't for cancer either. That diagnosis lends itself to serious vulnerability (melanoma survivor here) and a person in that position shouldn't be given misleading information.

 

Of

Of course you didn't find. YouTube deleted thousands of videos from German new medicine. Also Wikipedia, Google, etc. I found it in another link, but it is in Spanish. Dr Sarno is seen as a quack the sane way dr hammer is, by conventional medicine.



Anyway, I'm not going to be through this anymore. I'm tiered.

Today, I realise I'm boycotting myself again... I have to stop convincing my inner child that im in trouble. I have to stop victimize myself.

I'm also battling anhedonia. I had so many hobbies, but now, I just can't take any pleasure from them. Is it because of depression, or is it because as we grow life isn't exciting as it used to be.

 

Should one force into doing the old hobbies? I'm always procrastinating returning to do video/photo. I always thought I would never had depression because I love doing video, and it seemed limitless. But with all these excess. Millions of videos are posted online, so whats the point of doing it if nobody cares to watch them, even your close friend's? I remember the last ones I made to question my friends, and trying to convince them to watch. So where to find pleasure?

 

I was going to respond with some helpful Sarno-style advice because you clearly have a whole lot of rage tucked below but reading all your posts on this thread I think you need to start with conventional therapy.

 

You can make videos because you like to make and edit videos. We all do shit no one asked us to do. That is what a hobby is. Filipe have you tried journaling?