Day 29 Pappa

Is there anyone in your life you feel wronged by?

I would use the word disappointed more than wronged when describing my dad. My whole life I wanted a great father son relationship and he never seem interested in having one. I remember in sports I wanted my dad just to come one of my games but it never happened. It was hard to look into the stands and never see him there. I've forgiven him and realize a relationship will not happen. He turns 70 in a few months and a work aholic still.

I've noticed in my son that he doesn't care much right now he wins or loses much in competitions (age almost 6). He gets the most satisfaction looking up and seeing me in the stands watching him, and he smiles. He'll say that's my dad and smile.

 

Fathers and sons and sports... a lot of stuff to be covered there. I grew up without any competitive team sports so there were no games for my parents to go to, but they wouldn't have time to watch me play anyway. My brother pushed his son hard to be a Notre Dame football star, but his son was a lousy football player, and then the same with basketball. Some fathers want their sons to be the great athlete they never became. You may just have to accept it that your son doesn't care that much about sports.

My father never talked to me, or hugged me. He just worked to keep a roof over our heads. One of my best friends is a stoic and never shows any affection to his kids.

I hope your father loves his work, since he's a workaholic. He may have to learn to slow down one day.

By the way, I hate organized sports, whether in school or professional. I do love to golf and play tennis, but watching someone play is boring to me. Watching golf and baseball put me to sleep, so sometimes I watch just for that.

 

I'm fine if my son doesn't like sports. I just want my son to know that if he has an activity whether its music, sports, drama, theater, religion I'll be there to support him. Last night I was pretty tired, and my wife texted me that our oldest daughter was going to be singing in the church choir that evening. Staying home was an option, but I changed real quick, and watched our daughter sing. She was so excited to see both her parents there to support her. Afterwards I found it comforting to know I'll never remember who played in March Madness 2016, but I'll probably remember seeing our daughter smile so big. That is treasure, and life.

 

Good for you for not perpetuating the cycle, Ryan! It's a wonderful thing to bask in the smile of a child.

When my daughter was little I would sometimes think that what I had wanted as a child would be what she wanted. Often that was not the case! I sometimes think she would have done better with my Mom as her parent. Funny how that works!