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Parents: tell them about TMS? (To avoid Surgery)

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Freedom, Feb 27, 2019.

  1. Freedom

    Freedom Peer Supporter

    My parents are having some health issues, one of them recently is considering surgery for neck pain (cervical stenosis).

    Im wondering if I should tell them about TMS.

    They are old fashioned and havent read many books on psychology or mind body processes. Additionally, one of them is actually a medical doctor so hes probably more believing in the physical than the mental.

    Additionally, I am concerned if I talk to them about all of the ramifications it will have with my own life since ive told them about pain (my own) for years, but never TMS. I am concerned if they say its rediculous that it will affect my own belief in TMS and thus hamper MY OWN healing.

    Thoughts greatly appreciated.
    Last edited: Feb 27, 2019
    JanAtheCPA likes this.
  2. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    This is an important issue, Freedom! And a common one, too -there was a recent thread started by someone whose recovery was (he felt) being actively hampered by parental disapproval.

    The key there is "he felt". Because this is 100% about how you manage your own fears and doubts. It has NOTHING to do with your parents. You have to take control of your own fearful brain - not just so you can engage others, but in order to recover.

    The conundrum you face is how you will feel if you don't take the risk and say something.

    The questions that you have to ask and answer for yourself are: Can I live with myself if I don't at least tell them about this choice? And, in order to minimize negative backlash, can I do so in a way that allows them to feel that this is simply an available choice, it is one that I have made for ME, and I am not trying to place any expectations on them, or judge them in any way?

    I don't push an agenda on anyone, I just say something like "I used to have (XYZ symptom) but I read a book by an MD named John Sarno and did some more reading and some work on myself, and I don't suffer from that anymore". If they want to know more, they will ask.

    Ellen likes this.
  3. Freedom

    Freedom Peer Supporter

    Hi Jan!!

    Good to hear from you, and thanks for your reply.

    I'm not sure how much they are going to listen as I have very recently told them about a back pain relapse I had, which would make it sound like this material doesn't work. How do you typically explain it if someone asks "what is the book about" ?

    On another but similar note, this whole situation terrifies me in a number of ways. I myself will be turning 33 in a few weeks and am dreading getting older myself, and seeing that my parents are old now, and have been having health issues in the recent years, and now with the neck pain one of them is having... I keep thinking about the fact that one day they will die, and what if that day is soon, will I be able to handle that? I am bummed out for a lot of reasons in life right now but since I heard about this, I have been having trouble sleeping and have been feeling more depressed. Even today when I think of what are the good things in my life, I started to feel good... then I remembered this situation and it's almost as if I feel like I it's wrong for me to feel good while this situation is going on. That was the thought in my head today.

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