I've posted in the past about this but lately I'm just really struggling with staying on the TMS course. I first discovered TMS back in March while googling about my symptoms, urinary urgency. Just a brief description incase you haven't read my past threads. Back in December this began out of the blue, literally. One evening after having a girls night with one my good friends I came home and used the restroom and immediately felt like I was getting a UTI (I've had a few in my past) I wasn't happy but didn't think much of it. Called my doctor, went in and the test (in office dip test) was negative but she gave me antibiotics anyway. I felt a little better but the urgency remained. At first it was daily. I started googling and read about interstitial cystitis and got so scared it was unbelievable. I went into a total anxiety panic depressed mode. I totally missed Christmas because I was consumed with anxiety. After New Years the symptoms reduced to just on and off, every few days. Finally I decided enough was enough, I went to see a uro gynecologist who did a pelvic exam, took urine by cath. and talked to me. Nothing was discovered and she told me she didnt' think it was IC based on my symptoms. She sent me on my way and told me to come back in a month if the symptoms persisted for further tests but she didn't think they were necessary. I never went back. About a month later is when I discovered TMS through googling. I immediately started the 42 day program. I'm about 3 weeks into it right now. I'm not the best about journaling everyday, at all. I need to get back into it considering it's June and I started at the end of March. I found a few emotions that I carry with me but I thin majority of my problem is anxiety and stress. Even my husband says I tend to be too hard on my self. I'm in school full time working on my bachelors, I work (from home) full time, and I have 2 kids of my own. So I'm a bit overwhelmed and stressed but I think anxiety is my main issue. I have anxiety over just about everything. I think I have a vomiting phobia, I've had several health anxieties in my past, when I go out in public I fear I'm going to get sick somehow. I also am a "goodiest" I let people walk all over me because I REALLY dislike having people mad at me. I bend over backwards for friends and family when I dont' even want to. The only person I can be completely honest with is my husband. Anyway, my urgency is on and off. I can 100% fine for days, then have a day of problems. Yesterday for example, I woke up feeling fine, no issues at all. Mid afternoon I went to use the restroom and came out with the feeling of still needing to go. I tried to ignore it and not worry about it and it faded away. Right around dinnertime it came back after using the restroom again, by the time I went again it had faded away. I was also having this mild pelvic left sided pain, left (TMI) of my vagina. I've gone up to a week almost 2 without having the urgency before. I'm pretty sure I'm either feeling it in the bottom part of my bladder or urethra, can't really tell. It almost feels like, after I use the restroom, if I could just go back in and pee out a little bit more it would subside. I've been following the IC diet (bladder diet) not strictly but I have cut out tomatos. I did cut out chocolate for a while but lately I've been eating that again. I got brave Tuesday night and ate a slice of pizza that had tomato sauce and then the urgency happened Wednesday, I can't help but blame that. I know for the TMS program to work you have to believe fully it's TMS and I think that is where I'm struggling. So much info out there about TMS focuses on back pain. While I have had lower back pain my life, it's not consistent. I just "tweak" my back every couple years. Not sure if that is TMS related or not. This urinary thing is consuming my life. It's on my mind all.the.time. I rarely get completely distracted from it. I worry about it all the time. I fully believe if this could go away and I go back to feeling normal my anxiety would die down a lot. Can someone offer advice, help anything? I'm so tired of feeling this way. Thank you!!!! Have a blessed day! ps I am in the middle of reading Sarnos Mind, Body, Prescription as well.