Day 12 self criticism

I have always known that self critism is a personality trait of mine but I've never realised how extreme it was.
I don't exagerate when I say that I question everything I do and say throughout the whole day. I have constant thoughts of ' why am I so strange' 'why can't I speak up' 'why can't I be like everyone else'.
I also constantly second guess what people think of me with thoughts like ' they think I'm weird' 'their laughing at me' 'they don't like me'
I also constantly feel like people are watching/judging everything I do and this makes the easiest of jobs so much harder.
Although ive always known about my destructive personality I've never realised how extreme they were and how much pressure/strain/stress there putting on me.
I hope with this realisation of this self critism I can begin to challenge it and start to find some self compassion.
Thanks for listening, it feels good to admit it and start to understand it.
I feel ready to move on from it.

 

Hi cuddlepants, I have similar issues, though as I get older (I'm 47 now) I think I'm gradually getting better at overcoming it. In other words, I care less about how I appear in other people's eyes. But I'm not completely over it, I still find myself comparing myself unfavourably to other people, for whatever reason...
It's a strange thing in our modern society: we're continually looking up to and worshipping successful individuals and yet we also put pressure on ourselves to conform to the group and be like everyone else. I often wonder whether the people who do make a name for themselves as success stories or leaders or pioneers originally felt this strangeness, or perhaps still do.
You're right about self compassion, I need to apply the same thing to myself. Thanks for sharing, and all the best.

 

Hi, cuddlepants. I love your posting name! You know how to relieve your pain... you recognize that you need to change self-criticism into self-compassion. You might find some good ideas from watching YouTube videos. There are quite a few, such as "How to Stop Being Self-critical" and "Getting Over Self-criticism So You Can Get on with Life."