Sitting pain

Yes, you are, and may be in it for months.
There is no definitive timeline to healing. Some people get through in 2 months, it takes some years. It took me a year to get over doubts and almost 2 years to heal. It takes what it takes, you must accept it. The more anxiety you generate, the slower you heal. Part of the healing is to accept your own perceived deficiencies ( like not healing overnight).

 

Why does it take some people ages. What is it that stops them being the fast ones?

 

Human brain is a mystery. We all have unique life and trauma experiences and different personalities, so I can only speak confidently about myself. All my life I set very high expectations of myself and took it as a personal failure that it took me so long. It is all in my book and in my blog, in great details.

 

My problem is that it's impossible to get comfortable so there's never any relief. It's very hard to accept something so awful. And I fear if I don't learn to accept it i will never recover.

 

You don't have to accept your pain as a permanent condition. Remember, thousands of people were where you are now, but they still recovered.

 

I feel so confused and overwhelmed and alone

 

You should read my book. I was there 9 years ago

 

This is a breakthrough!

You have allowed us to understand your feelings and you have allowed yourself to be vulnerable. That is part of the work. Can you offer yourself compassion but without self-pity (which is self-victimizing).
I have been doing this work for 3 years and am beginning to have breaks in pain, but not in all symptoms. I have to accept that the pain is a reflection of my inner struggles, anxieties, untrue and hard on myself thoughts. Most of my symptoms are generated out the “high” (it’s all relative) expectations of others to do things to please them: manage parental emotions, achieve educationally which has been difficult given a high IQ mixed with learning disabilities (add in my appearance and how all this was a magnet for bullying in school), NEVER rock the boat - and my strong independent personality, ingrained goodism -all fodder for subconscious anger!

You aren’t alone because we are all here with you. When I felt that way I wrote a list of everyone supporting me including any author whose work helped, Forrest, the creator of this forum, the good people who answered my questions, myself!, the few friends who know and care, my pets… it was so helpful on really hard days.

 

If we were able to say to you "Sarah, your sitting pain will definitely go in 1 month's time" and you were to believe us, I wager that you would feel a whole lot lighter about putting up with the pain and doing what Sarno says, i.e. to get on with the things of life as best you can, despite the pain.

Imo what I think you're not accepting is that you cannot know when you will lose your symptoms and this, along with having a choice of 'TMS work' and not knowing exactly which 'TMS work' will work for you, is making you despondent and pessimistic.

Believing and having faith that one's symptoms are TMS and that they are therefore temporary and will disappear makes for the opposite of despondency and pessimism, it makes for optimism.

So, if you cannot have faith that your symptoms will disappear, my advice is to 'suspend your disbelief' and act as if you have got faith and continue with doing 'TMS work' persistently and with patience.

With regard to not knowing exactly what 'TMS work' will work for you, you have to accept that you need to experiment.... Finish the SEP, and/or act on some or all of the things that @Cactusflower has suggested to you, and/or read @TG957's book, and/or read and do the things advised in the book that I suggested to you... but don't rush at it all, just do one or two things at a time, let what you do percolate into your subconscious.

If you read @TG957's book, you will see that she was patient and experimented and eventually found that meditation (done in a particular way) was the lynch pin to her recovery. Her story is inspirational.

As @Cactusflower says, you're not alone; we are here with you, and have been replying to your postings (even though your TMSing brain may not like or want to hear what we say) and we've all suffered profound TMS symptoms and are at various stages of TMS recovery.

If you want further/more company on your 'journey' out TMS, you could, if finances permit, consider joining Dan Buglio's group.

 

I woukd say yes if I knew in a month it would be gone yes I would whole heartedly have a different outlook. You are correct

 

Sarah, if I were you, I would include reading this entire thread, cover to cover, several times every day, to defeat your doubts. @Cactusflower and @BloodMoon are among the most thoughtful and generous posters on this forum, their advice is pure gold.

 

I totally understand you Sarah, have same with sitting pain and do the work , relief comes and goes

 

I can totally relate to sitting pain , have had for years but at times subside when feeling safe in my body …

 

The book isn't available

 

What country are you in? Only I've just checked and it's available on the US, UK, Australian and Canadian Amazon websites in both Kindle and paperback formats. Here it is on US Amazon, with this link taking to you straight to the buying page https://www.amazon.com/MINDBODY-SYNDROME-TMS-Recovery-Freedom-ebook/dp/B086DB49YC/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8 (Amazon.com) (With the previous link that I gave you, you needed to go to the top right hand side/corner of the webpage and click on 'see all buying options' which is in a yellow coloured box that takes you to the buying page.)

 

Thank you!

 

Hi Sarah! Borrow my belief that you’ll get better. There’s nothing wrong with you. One of my conditioned responses was sitting pain. Burning, unbearable pain that spread from my groin to my abdomen. It’s awful when you can’t even sit!
However if I can become pain free so can you! One suggestion I have: before you are about to sit, speak out loud to your brain. “Hey brain, I know you’re scared, but there’s nothing to fear. Sitting is normal. Sitting doesn’t cause pain or burning sensations. Please stop.” I did a lot of this when I was undoing my conditioned responses! Keep at it. You’ll notice you have to keep reminding it a lot throughout the day. It’s like talking to a toddler. You will rewire your brain eventually.

 

Thank you.
I'm feeling so anxious all the time. I've become so fearful. Scared that it would never go and I would have to kill myself because of the pain. I believe the pain started because I thought my husband was going to die. He is only 37.
Am I right in thinking it's not the emotions themselves that cause pain it's the brain distracting me because it thinks I can't handle them?
I've journalled about a lot of these things and felt the fear and sadness etc so why does it still feel like it needs to distract me? Or is it purely now because I fear the pain. So it's not longer the original problem causing the pain but my now conditioned response to feeling it? I hope that makes sense. Because otherwise I'm not sure really what its still trying to distract me from.
Also I am caused anxiety by knowing its my brain creating them. This makes a lot of people feel better but its the opposite for me. I know it's not my fault but when it's your mind you cant help but think it's your fault because you are the one creating it. Even if you aren't aware of it.

 

Imfact let me tell you about the year that lead up to the pain.
. Husband collapsed diagnosed with a heart condition which can cause sudden death in his sleep.
. Husband had another episode
. Husband has defib and pacemaker fitted at age 36
. My friend dies age 35 of cancer
. Uncle dies
. 5 pets die
The pain started days after my husband had his six week check to make sure the defib was working and he went away with his family. I had to stay behind and work. That's when the pain starts

Now you know more about me