The Presence Process - Share Experiences & Ask Questions

UPDATE: 4TH PP COMPLETE - AWESOME!! (now in 3-week integration period)

Wow. This is awesome. I just finished my 4th PP Friday, and the integration period is where I'm seeing the awesome results finally come to fruition. I mentioned that lots of anger had surfaced and I was sitting in it. I think that might have given the wrong impression. It was more like I was aware that anger was sitting at the surface, but I wasn't feeling it as if I were enraged. I simply knew it was there and I felt just fine. I didn't feel awesome (most of the time), but I felt fairly decent--I wasn't complaining. Now, I did feel a tiny bit hopeless at times, as if I were going to be stuck in this state forever and I did things to try to help get me out of it. But it wasn't because I felt really angry. It was more of a sense of wanting to feel better--wanting to feel relief, even though I felt okay. It's hard to explain.

Moving on to the integration period. I've mentioned that I wake up every morning around 3:30-4:30 am and just lay there--sometimes dozing, sometimes thinking--until 5:30-6 am. It's been that way for a few years now. I realized recently that it started around the time I found out my wife was pregnant. It was this fear (and shame) that I wouldn't be able to take care of my family and myself. It really wore on me for years, but a year ago, shortly after starting my first PP, I learned to be okay with it. I still wanted it gone, but I was okay with it. Well, during my 4th (and maybe 3rd) PP, I decided I could lay there in bed and breathe and process emotions. I did this a few times, sometimes with great results, other times without. Yesterday and this morning have been phenomenal. I've laid there for 1-2 hours each time, breathing and processing (and dozing a few times yesterday, too). As I've done this, major felt resonances have come up in my root, sacral, and solar plexus areas. And when they would come up, I'd be with them or sometimes imagine them as small children and talk to them very lovingly, letting them know they are greatly desired by me. And I would remember how thankful I was and that thankfulness would sometimes manifest with a resonance I could feel in my body that was amazing. Other times, I knew the thankfulness wasn't resonating, because it would cover up the painful felt resonance I was enjoying feeling. lol

Now, I can't remember if I've ever felt energy resonating in my legs before, and I wondered if I could a few days ago. I was working with someone who was helping me with unblocking my lower chakras and I couldn't transmute energy down into my legs, nor could I pull it up through my gut and solar plexus area. I was a little disappointed when I noticed that during the session, but as the session progressed, I had the strongest resonance in my arms (and maybe chest) I've ever had. It was like grabbing on to two 20,000 volt cables and feeling the electricity vibrate through me intensely, but without the pain--just the awesome sensation. It was crazy strong/intense vibration. That got me excited, because I was doubting the work I was doing there. Then yesterday and today, I felt the energy spreading to my legs and up my sides. In my core, instead of feeling nothing, I was feeling major dysfunctional resonances of shame (anger mostly, but some fear and grief too, all of which are the components of shame). And as I felt the dysfunctional energy, I was overcome with thankfulness and started laughing and crying. I had to suppress it, because my wife was asleep beside me, but it was awesome. It was like I was feeling the dysfunctional energy seep or drain up toward my head, shifting into positive emotional energy that felt awesome. Amazing experience!

I wanted to continue, but I had to get up to be some where this morning. I realized, "I have endless mornings to let this energy integrate, so there's no hurry." That was a great feeling. I get to do this again every morning until it all integrates. That's awesome. I feel great freedom as this stuff integrates. I'm really happy and excited about this right now. Can't wait to here y'alls experiences!

 

congrats brian. sounds like a successful journey....
I too awaken early at times & have always spent the time in connected breathing & processing emotion. I usually fall back asleep easily though but have found it helpful to process the previous day & dreams of the night...

I am finishing my 10th week --( 'I appreciate myself' does the integration period begin when that is finished or after I've finished the remaining chapters of the book?

the past few weeks have been a bit overwhelming & not sure I've retained/integrated a good solid grasp of the concepts ie 'giving is receiving' , 'oneness' etc. these are foreign to me & quite contradictory to how I was raised so I feel like it will take me more than a week to get that but then it's on to the next. I have anxiety that these lessons will slip away from me, but then I guess I can always do the process again- although I dream of a day when I can just 'be'.

I've done well integrating emotion & am calmer & more relaxed. things that trigger me still do but not as much or for as long. I can usually realize the drama & identify the message it was tied to-- almost all goes back to abandonment -- so my commitment to myself is where my work currently is. at first I was hard on myself for not stopping it but now I am grateful for my commitment to continue changing it. something I've never learned to give myself or others...

overall I'm extremely grateful for this experience.

bruce

 

The integration period begins immediately when the 10 weeks finishes, no matter if you read to the end of the book or not. I said I'd read through to the end of the book again, but I'm not sure if I will or not this time, because I'm spending a lot of my time just lying in bed letting things integrate, which is really nice. I feel like that's more important than reading through to the end of a book I've read four times. lol Though I will at least read through the benefits of TPP again (at the end of the book), probably, just for a refresher.

Yeah, the giving-is-receiving concept can be a very difficult one to grasp internally. I've read over it four times, and I understood it mentally before, but this time when I read it, it started sinking in emotionally. It was a deep knowing. The concept is that God/Presence has everything worked out perfectly, and it's all required. Therefore, I have no worries, because everything is provided, no matter what. If I do not receiving from God and others, then I have nothing to give to others. So there's this block in me not allowing the energy of giving and receiving to flow. But when I finally start receiving by unblocking whatever dysfunctional emotions are blocking my ability to receive (a lack of self-worth, which is shame), suddenly, the energy flows through me--giving and receiving. As I give, I receive. What I receive, I give away, making room for me to receive more. Then more comes in and I give it away. It's a cycle. But if I horde everything, I've got a major block that won't allow me to receive from God/Presence or others very well. The things are substitutes for love, and subconsciously, I think I'll feel better (closer to love) if I get them. So I'm trying to take love. But when I accept myself as I am (love myself), then I stop trying to take love and I start receiving it from myself and God (both of whom are different aspects of Presence). So because I learn to receive, I've unblocked the block. And because I know there's plenty, because Presence will always provide, I keep giving what I have away to others, making room to receive more. My main ways of giving are sharing my experience (not venting) to encourage others here and at men's groups I go to throughout the week. It's a lot of fun for me.

You may already understand all that stuff, but just in case you didn't, maybe that'll help a little. But it'll only help in the intellectual sense. It may take a few more weeks for that to integrate, or may take one or two more PPs. You never know. Everyone's different. You sound like you'll move faster than me, because you were experiencing a lot of pain during your PP. I bet you'll see quicker results than I did. I'm kind of like Michael Brown: part of me wants to know the mechanics of all of this, which means I have to take it slowly, a little at a time so I understand each component well...and the other issue is that I use my intelligence as protection from feeling emotions, which means it takes longer for me to switch over to full-on intuition as opposed to intellect and reason guiding me (which shows a lack of faith/trust in Presence). In other words, I kind of asked for this to be long and draw out for me. I pray daily for God to humble me no matter how much it hurts so that I can have a lot of wisdom to help others with. That's dangerous to pray, but it's well worth it. It's dragged me through hell and back at times, but again, it's well worth it. But that's just me. Everyone's different and has to take their own path. For me, one thing I would like is to enjoy pain and for it to be a motivator for me rather than a deterrent (that's what Brother Lawrence accomplished, majorly). I've seen that happening to me, little by little, throughout these PPs. This morning and throughout today, I saw it very strongly, which got me really excited! I love this stuff. Great to hear you're doing well after your first one. Wait the three weeks and see if anything new pops up. I'm doing my best not to react during this three weeks so more will integrate, but it's SO not easy. I totally failed this morning. LOL But you know what? I didn't have a bunch of shame because of it and it didn't at all ruin my day. That's not how it used to be. So things are pretty sweet right now! Also, I'm about to hit the 1-year period from the beginning of my first PP, which is the point at which a lot of people say they experience like a rebirth into this new way of life and it's really peaceful and awesome. I can't wait to see if I experience that in three weeks! I'm not expecting anything consciously, but I'll sure be interested to see what happens.

Oh, and no, you don't need to learn each week's lessons and instantly be able to do them all the time. It takes a long time to condition yourself to do these things. I still react all the time. lol But I do it SOOOOO much less than I used to. And I'm so much more peaceful now. I get a lot of work done and I enjoy it. I don't get overwhelmed anymore. I don't often get rushed anymore, but that one still hasn't completely integrated. So, don't sweat that stuff. You're right on track.

 

thanx for the share brian ... yes it will be a chore to retain all that was in this journey & I do plan to do more of them if /when needed. I think the main takeaway for me here is that I see how out of balance & incongruent w/ my inner self I feel & not living how I want to live.

I feel more committed to my authentic inner presence self than at any other time in my life --- & that begets a hope that I can commit to the presence in others in my life as well. the hopeful beginnings of a new way of being, love & responding to my life while living in the moment...

thanx for all who've shared. keep in touch & will def share how the integration is going
peace
bruce

 

Awesome.

 

Hi, I'm new on this forum. I've done P.P. twice, and then stopped for now two years. I'm actually coming back to do the third time after this long break. I was in a very difficult place then, and having all kinds of unwanted physical symptoms. After two times of going through PP, "nothing" really happened. Although I knew I was not supposed to expect anything, I just decided that PP was not for me. During this time, all kinds of things happened, and in a way, I was still doing PP on my own without the book. And then one day, it all came around in full circle. I realized I was ready to do the third time.

I decided to read the first part of the book as it'd been a while. Would you say I'm somewhere close when I say, PP is about accepting what comes in front of us as is? Is it correct to say that what Michael is saying in the book is that anything that appears in front of you (including the physical symptoms and difficulties) are repeats of what had happened in the past, and they have not been integrated as we didn't know how to respond to those incidents. So all we have to do is to just be and be there unconditionally without judging, controlling, etc, so that we can finally integrate these things?

If so, my question is, does integration occur without my consciously knowing it? I know that some people feel that integration HAPPENED. But let's say, my child started to act out, and I consider this as a mirroring affect, and I just observe this without judgement. I respond to what's happening and let it be. Micheal said in the book that the integration can happen in a situation like this. So I may not quite feel nothing has integrated as I just didn't react to my son's behavior, is it possible that something has integrated without my knowing it?

Thank you,

 

Hi, Sachiko! Great to have you. And great to hear you've done TPP twice. I've just finished my 4th PP, and I think everyone else here has only done one PP or maybe is on their second one.

You are correct, PP teaches that life is all about accepting what is happening to us right now, in the moment, as required for our development, no matter what it is. If we aren't noticeably triggered by something, then we've either repressed it so far down we can't feel it, or we've integrated the causal felt resonance. And our goal is to respond rather than react to "what is." Pretty straight forward and simple. Not always easy, though. The only way an emotional dysfunction will integrate is if we don't react to it, and instead feel it without judgment and without doing anything about it. We accept it unconditionally and put our unconditional attention on it (that's what unconditional love is). Eventually, it'll integrate.

Well, Michael Brown (MB) isn't saying that the symptoms we experience are from things that happened in the past. He's saying that we're passed down felt resonances in the womb, and then, during the first seven years of our life, our reactions to these felt resonances are installed through how our parents act and by what happens to us and how it's handled. We learn from our parents how to "react" to these felt resonances, and we may even develop some of our own "reactions" to them. Our reactions are what keep the felt resonances repressed from our awareness, but they're there all the time. When we stop reacting to them, they're free to transition over into the integration process. In my experience, they don't integrate in the moment you stop reacting to them. Instead, I usually have to sit with the felt resonance they bring up before the integration process begins. Sorrowful crying signals the beginning of integration. Happy crying and laughter signal a completed integration, usually.

The only times I know of integrations occurring when I'm unaware of it is during my breathing sessions in the morning or evening and shortly after them. I remember lots of shaking during my first PP, which I realized was fear being expressed for integration. But it didn't feel like integration usually feels when it happened. So I consider that integration to be one I was unaware of (it happened several times). However, in one part of the book, MB says you must consciously feel the felt resonance to integrate it. So I'm a little confused as to what forms integration takes. That's always been a tricky one for me since the book doesn't make it a hundred percent clear.

As for integrations occurring in the moment of not reacting to a trigger/messenger, like I said before, I've never experienced that. That doesn't mean it's not possible, though. Keep in mind, though, that if you don't feel triggered when your son does something that used to trigger you, then you've integrated the felt resonance in the past already, which is why you weren't triggered. The only other solution is that you're so far repressed, you can't feel yourself being triggered. I've noticed this emotional wall that keeps my body not as relaxed as it could be, and it's always up. I have to make an effort to relax my body at all times in order to keep that emotional wall down so I can be more vulnerable. That's very important, because vulnerability is how we feel the felt resonances far better and stronger. It helps bring them into our awareness. It's also relaxing and feels nice a lot of the time. Our refusal to be vulnerable is what keeps us more tense (on guard) all the time, which causes our bodies to have a more acidic pH, which causes health issues. Dr. Caldwell in Germany cured 3,500+ patients of cancer just by teaching them relaxation techniques which raised their body's pH to an alkaline state. Cancer can only exist in a body with an acidic pH. Pretty cool stuff.

It sounds like you're using the first edition of TPP. I highly recommend the Second/Revised Edition of TPP. People who did the old PP then use this new revised edition to go through it again say that the new edition is much better and facilitated better integration for them.

I'm taking a break for a several weeks before I dive into a 5th PP. If enough integrates during this 3-week integration period I'm in right now, I may not do another PP for a long time. I'll just have to feel it out. It'll be nice to not be in process for a while so I can just enjoy life for a while. I'm hitting the 1-year point, which is when MB says people have this rebirthing experience of sorts where they feel wonderful due to this new way of life they've learned through TPP. So far so good, because a LOT is integrating for me now, daily, and I'm consciously breathing a lot more during the day and staying present. Great progress!

Have a great day! Can't wait to hear your experiences!

 

UPDATE: 3-WEEK INTEGRATION PERIOD

All I can say is wow, this is very cool. I'm way more present now, and I breathe consciously a lot more, too. Things are integrating daily, now. I've never had this much integrate, and definitely not this frequently. This is a major shift. Doing this PP on anger was exactly what I needed. I plan to do the next PP on anger and shame. I want to unblock the rest of the anger and shame and I think I can get a ton of what doesn't integrate this time.

 

I forgot to mention that during the bath sessions, your body temperature rises when a felt resonance surfaces, and you put your attention on it. Eventually, it may integrate/resolve and your body temperature falls. That's not an unconscious integration, though.

 

DROPPING THE EMOTIONAL WALL

I finally realized how I'm dropping my emotional wall to become aware of Presence and feel felt resonances better. I discovered this a few years ago intuitively as a way to sit in Presence, and I just realized I've been doing the same thing recently. All I do is relax my entire body as best I can. The chest area is the most important thing to relax completely. I can do it instantly, or I just take deep breaths to deepen it or fully seat it. It energetically drops an emotional barrier.

While I was learning Kriya Yoga, I was taught to relax every muscle in my body consciously, starting at the top of the head going down to my toes. TPP says that we're to relax while we do our breathing each day so we can get used to how Presence feels. It just didn't explain that we're supposed to relax every muscle as much as possible. This is incredibly important.

Since I've been doing this constantly here lately, I've found it to be vital for integration. And I still cannot recommend The Reconnection highly enough. I did it to help me integrate the shame in my stomach area. And wow...it did it's job. I'm processing the shame extremely quickly now. And it unblocked whatever was emotionally blocking my ability to manifest wealth. I have always had a problem with that, but now I make money constantly and have multiple avenues to make money. It's awesome. As the shame has been integrating, my inner knowing and trust that Presence has everything taken care of gets stronger and more real. Faith is built through experience according to TPP. I'm definitely seeing that now. Presence takes care of me bigtime. Always has, but now I'm extremely well taken care of. Before, I manifested just enough to survive. Now, I'm able to pay down debt because we have plenty. Very cool stuff. I love this.

 

I'm starting my round 2 tomorrow.

Because I'm so tense, instructions to relax tend to cause anxiety & stress. This has been a tough one for me and meditative practices, because of course they feel better and I can go much deeper, if the body is physically relaxed. But if I'm tense and trying to relax, I'm not accepting what is, in this moment, and "what is" for me most of the time is a ton of tension. So having to relax in order to do TPP would be a bit of a problem and I'm expecting TPP to help address the root of why I'm so tense... But at the same time I will give it a go to be as relaxed as I can in the moment when I'm doing the breathing......

 

kudos brian & danielle

I just ended week 10 of TPP-1 last night -but for the 1st time thro the whole process I did not get to breathe because of a severe head cold.

I have become very conscious of my connected breathing when doing other things & discovered early on that I could keep it connected for hours while doing things like watching movies & such. it is a pretty neet feeling as I can stay connected to breath & still follow what's going on outside of my physical body or in my mind & soul... the breathing & relaxation has also been instrumental in my overall pain reduction in general as well.

I feel much calmer & less anger so I would like to think that is integrating. I just spilled a full cup of coffee w/cream on a newly shampooed carpet -& other than the initial twinge of self criticism I quickly caught myself & let it go for compassion & forgiveness rather than beat myself up w/ anger etc....

all in all I'm hopeful to see what other shifts occur w/ me. one thing I sense tho is that I've had an experience that others cannot relate to & in some form I feel more isolated or disconnected & not social? I want to go out & reconnect w/ others & make new relationships, but somehow don't feel the energy or that it's the right time yet. any one else speak to the same?

be well
bruce

 

Cool. The more one does TPP, the better they get at relaxing. Just doing the best you can is plenty. And there's no need to fear because you can't go wrong--whatever happens is required. There's zero pressure in TPP.

 

My guess is that the feeling of being disconnected from people is a result of anger surfacing then turning to depression. Stay with that feeling until it integrates and you'll feel the connection again. I was like that after my second PP.

That's awesome about the breathing. That'll take you far.

 

There's something bothering me about TPP regarding the breath. I'm one week into round 2. I noticed this in the last round but I've been trying to overlook it, but it's really causing some difficulties this time. (My natural breath is often quite disconnected and tight.)

All over the writings in the book and in the instructions, he talks about how we are tuning into or observing the natural breath, not controlling or manipulating it –how TPP breathing is more of a non-doing or an un-doing than a doing.

But there is actually a lot of manipulation and control in the instructions. We are to alter the pace to make sure the inhale & exhale are even lengths. We are supposed to make the exhale audible. And we are to willfully initiate a new inhale if there is too long a pause between breaths. I understand that in theory, it's un-presence which is making our breath not connected or unevenly paced. But this approach seems to definitely use some "doing" instead of simply first removing or relaxing the un-presence to see if that will regulate the breath without manipulating it. I love so much about TPP but it seems like the author is a bit delusional that he feels his is a non-doing approach.

Comments? Thanks!

 

Danielle,

I see what you're saying, and maybe you're right. I'll share how I think about.

To me, our natural breathing pattern is the way we breathe if we have no emotional dysfunction. In TPP, we are consciously bringing our breath into that natural breathing pattern so that we can better experience Presence And go deeper into our authentic self. So the un-doing is removing the in conscious breathing and going back to natural, normal, conscious breathing. That, in itself, is an un-doing. But to us, it feels as if we're controlling it rather than just being. But what's natural for us when there's no emotional dysfunction is for us to control our breathing. I'm not sure if that was explained well, but that's how I see it.

We are bringing out body back into its natural state so it, and we, can experience what it's like and let it cleanse us of the emotional baggage. We aren't imitating, but rather responding by adjusting consciously. We're choosing to exist in our natural state rather than in our unnatural dysfunctional state. Does that make sense?

I think it feels like a doing because it's so unnatural to us. But control of breath is natural, not a doing. It's just how were made. But most don't ever experience that and have never been told that.

 

I would concur. our 'natural' breathing is learned to accommodate us living in this time based life. like everything in TPP it may need to be unlearned to get back to a natural state again.

I always struggled w/ meditation because of the pain , but for some reason connected breathing is so calming & pain reducing. I struggled w/ it a bit at first but for me the more I did it the more natural it felt. now it is my most natural breath & even occurs in the background (w/ little attention) while I'm focusing on other things.

MB said that humans are the only beings that do not breathe connected. it's apparent when you watch a sleeping dog or cat how natural the continuous rise & fall of their belly is. visualize & intend for that

what helped me was to focus solely on the transition phase between inhale/exhale & visa versa. once connected, the breath adjusted itself as it should be for whatever physical state I am in. I began to visualize one of those large natural gas pumps (we have a lot in Tx) that work on centrifugal force & gravity to continue seamlessly. they also look like those little bird toys that dip into the water & rise again on their own. same principle...

good luck danielle.... focus on the transition just before pause & your body knows the rest. visualize something that represents the principle & let go of the mechanix/instructions. the more you do the easier it should get.
bruce

 

I've found the Cosmic Orbit visualization useful for breathing and generating energy to process emotions. It's not just your imagination. You actually build energy. Feels very cool.

 

Hi Brian, thanks for your reply. All replies are appreciated even if I am slow to reply.

I think I see what you are saying, but from my experience, I don't see how it's possible to consciously change the pattern of my breathing without "doing" something, like adding something on top of something else. I see what you are saying that we want to return to our natural state, but I don't see how that can be done by manipulation. Maybe we just have different vocabularies, but for someone with traumatic breathing as a default, to change that pattern intentionally requires force. If I am present enough with the feeling, eventually the breath will change. But to start right away with trying to make the breath different than it is, I experience that as stressful.

So far round 2 is harder than round 1!!!