The Presence Process - Share Experiences & Ask Questions

I didn't start TPP until after I overcame my TMS, but after doing it two times, I have found it helpful for identifying situations/people that trigger me emotionally. And now when I recognize that I have been triggered, I am getting better at stopping and feeling the emotion, instead of acting out the same drama I always have. The best part about TPP is that it has made me less afraid of these triggering situations and so now I avoid them less, and I find myself seeking them out more and more so that I can get more experience processing the old emotions that cause me to (over)react.

As for the different parts of TPP: I love the connected breathing. I have been a meditator for years, but TPP breathing is the best meditation style I have encountered. I struggle with the conscious responses; I feel like I hardly ever remember to do them. I like the readings because they do become more and more meaningful as I experience their truth for myself.

I am about to start my 3rd TPP and I imagine I will do it a few more times at least...I'm sure I have a deep well of unintegrated emotions just waiting to surface.

 

Good to have you in the thread, Mark! Thanks so much for the post. I really enjoy hearing people's experiences with TPP. You're experiencing something similar to what I've been experiencing in the past week--wanting to keep the emotions around for processing.

Now that I've done TPP so many times, I'm finding it much easier to get emotions to come up. I trigger them, when I can, to keep them around or bring them back up. I let the angry self-sabotage in me go off on me, which gets my anger and shame to surface. Then I'll start empathizing with it, saying I understand why he's angry. And I'll start to tell him how awesome he is and how thankful I am for him. For example, I might tell him he's my strength and fervor--being used in a dysfunctional way, but that's no problem. I tell him how cool it'll be when he shifts over to being used in a loving, functional way. I tell him how I want him to stay with me no matter what. I truly feel the love and gratitude for that part of myself. TPP is amazing on how it brings out our authentic gratitude for our pain.

It's great to see that you're experiencing something similar. I wanted these tough triggers to happen while I was doing TPP, but they wouldn't most of the time. Now that they are, it's awesome. I've been praying for God to let me have pain for a long time so I could learn to endure it. It's nice to finally see it happening. I had a few instances in the past where it happened briefly, but recently it's been different. I'm so happy to be loving the pain and actually trying to keep it consciously present. It's a bizarre shift from trying to run from pain most of my life.

I processed some self-hate and shame in my gut a few days ago, and suddenly, I enjoy engaging with my 4-yr-old son. That's something I've been wanting for such a long time. It's not fully resolved yet, but a big chunk of it is resolved. I'm excited.

Thanks again for sharing. And cool integration experiences so far? How'd they happened and what did they feel like?

Looking forward to more of your experiences.

 

hi all!

i have started today with TPP.... did my morning exercise and just have finished before bed exercise.....

aaaand im really scared.....

i understand what brown said about feelings of pain are going to manifest, of itching and all that.... but this was intense.... i was breathing throw nose, but my lips stiffed like really really hard... my both arms in spasms... burning sensation in stomach and chest.... and i couldnt get a hold of my self for another 10-15 min.. i couldnt talk and hardly could use my hands....

so what i wanted to ask you... was the first day also intense for you, or am i to prepare for emotional hell to break loose...

im eager to go to the end with this, just it seems it would be easier to share this experience with someone who could understand it.....

 

Ovoono,

Thanks so much for sharing your experience! Every experience is helpful to readers, no matter how diversified or unique.

I've heard at least one other tell about some pretty crazy stuff kind of like you're describing that came up in their first few sessions. And I just have to say, I'm envious. I wish I could get such a strong reaction out of TPP. But I suspect, emotionally, I'm too guarded, so it's a long process for me. I've gotten used to feeling really crazy stuff, so I can sit with that stuff for a long time without freaking out at all. I enjoy it, because it gives me a chance to learn to unconditionally love myself and those feelings (both physical and emotional). But for a first-timer, that could be pretty scary. It's scared some away from TPP, if I remember correctly.

Yes, what you're feeling is something that can happen with TPP. It's a VERY good sign. It means you're very open to feeling what you need to feel in order to heal. What you do with that is up to you, though. If you get scared and kind of close off emotionally, it will lessen the symptoms you're seeing manifest, but you won't process as much as quickly. If, however, you can somehow manage to keep your wits about you and really endure it each time it happens and get used to it, you'll have some really great emotional processing. And you'll get used to it, too, so that it doesn't frighten you anymore. It's always cool when you get to that state. Makes life so much cooler, because there's so much less fear.

I haven't felt a ton of pain, really, with TPP, but I have had points where every night, I'd shake pretty badly while doing it, and I'd cry if necessary during that. That was fear working its way out, integration slowly, from what I could tell. I just let my body shake and helped it along as it happened. Each experience is different, of course. My two cents would be to keep going, and when that stuff happens, say to yourself, "Well, I'm still alive, and this stuff isn't going to kill me. It's just emotions and some physical reactions." As you do that, you'll find it's less frightening and you'll get used to it. However, if you really think you might be in some physical danger, use your common sense to figure out whether you should stop or not. I haven't heard of TPP harming anyway, but who knows.

Good luck and I look forward to hearing more about your experiences!

 

I forgot to add that I've has the burning in my chest at times, and the burning in my stomach at times, too. I've has spasms before, too. I've never had the lips-freezing thing happen. But a few times, when I was breathing really deep, after 15 minutes or so, my body started to tingle. Then, at some point after 30 minutes, my hands started to freeze up. I could move them, but it kind of hurt. Not sure why. That persisted while I breathed for the next hour or so. When I finished my breathing, I got up and my balance was a little bit off for a few minutes, and my hands slowly returned to normal over the next 10 minutes or so. They would move, but it felt odd, kind of like they were frozen up a little bit.

From what I've read about breathing, supposedly, the way it works is, it starts detoxing the body. The oxygen actually gets into the cells and starts pushing out the toxins. Within toxins are emotions and memories. Whether the memories are actually in the toxins or just triggered by the emotional imprints on the proteins in the toxins, I don't know. Anyway, that's why it helps bring up emotions stored in the body. The Ancient Hebrews and many other ancient cultures believed the emotions originated in the organs. Some still believe that today. I'm not sure if it's true, but I definitely wouldn't discount it. Ancient cultures were very intuitive.

There's an tribe in the Amazon who were untouched by civilization. A botanist (specialist in plants) visited the tribe for quite some time. There's this plant in that area that has 27 different types, but they all look exactly the same. It's some kind of internal genetic variation that makes this one different. And only that specific kind can cure a certain disease. Botonists have to use a microscope to distinguish this type of plant from the other 27 species. This tribe would use those plants to cure the disease and could identify that plant type with 100% accuracy. The botonist asked the tribe's shaman how they identified that particular plant species. The shaman said, "Don't you know anything about plants?" lol They lay the plants out during a full moon, and the plants sing. They can hear the tones the plants put out (but the Botonists couldn't, I think) and knew which was which according to the tone. Gives new meaning to the Old Testament verse that says all nature will sing praise to the Lord. Interesting.

So...some ancient cultures are probably pretty intuitive like that indigenous culture.

Anyway, the freezing could be detoxing and the related emotions surfacing as a result.

 

Thanks for the reply, Brian.

just finished my morning breathing... everything is the same, but i like it... just as you said, i can feel it surfacing...

ill keep on coming here for updates and other insights

 

Great! Can't wait to hear how it goes. I think when people endure a lot of pain and share it here, it really gives others hope and encourages them to continue TPP or try it again.

 

UPDATE: I'm still managing to process emotions, even though I'm not in the middle of a PP. Processed things for the last few days at night when doing my breathing. I'm so glad things are still processing. I've noticed good changes after processing lately. Noticeably, it's easier to play with my son and enjoy it, and I get more done during the day. I'm finally going to make a much-needed change with my business so we can make some extra money to pay down our debt, too. I've felt trapped by my lack of incoming business the past few years, but I now have a way out of that rut so I can control my income for the first time since I started my business 10 years ago.

All very cool stuff and very much needed.

 

I find myself having more dreams at night, but only vague remembrance of them. I'm also bringing up memories from as far back in my childhood that I can remember, more unconsciously than consciously, but it seems these memories are few and far between. The few I do have revolve around false abandonment and emotions surfacinging are primarily anxiety and fear.
Seems anxiety is one of my most common emotions coming to the forefront, but that's almost 'normal' for me. I am however attempting to just look at them and not react but physical aspects arise just the same from being anxious. Second week and going strong though.

 

I and others have had the experience of lots of fear and crying in the first few weeks on the first TPP. It seems the initial fear of feeling emotions is what integrates first in TPP. That's a big one, and so helpful. Congratulations! Sounds like you're doing awesome.

Looking forward to more updates! Thanks!

 

To keep my mind from becoming over-active so I can't sleep, I like watching a Youtube video before bedtime:
"Guided Meditation for Detachment from Over-Thinking." Michael Sealey's calming voice focuses on mindfulness of breathing in the present moment.
It really quiets the voices in my head. This may have nothing to do with "multiples," but I hope it helps anyway.

 

Thanks, Walt.

Yeah, multiples have separate personalities inside who can come out into the body, and the main personality either willingly goes inside and stays conscious in the inside world, or blanks out if a personality comes out without the main personality knowing they're going to come out. Quite a different situation than the constant mind chatter, though multiples have the voices of their alternate personalities talking to each other inside.

For people who have a busy mind, that YouTube video you mentioned is probably helpful, though. Thanks!

TPP has a person focus on their breathing and repetition of a statement in the mind to stay present instead of the mind chattering away. As emotions process and integrate, the mind chatter lessens, because the emotional dysfunctions are what cause the thoughts. With TMS, if the emotions are processed properly, the same thing should happen. But often, I think people don't properly process the emotions, which causes them to get repressed again, and the mind chatter continues and the coping behaviors persist. TPP puts a strong focus on how to process the emotions, so that was the biggest help for me. I've only read a couple of Sarno's books, so I'm not sure I'm very well versed in TMS's version of processing emotions. Others here could express that better.

 

Have any of you ever read or heard of the book, Natural Rest For Addiction, by Scott Kiloby? I'm interested in feedback, if so. Thx

 

No, I've never heard of Natural Rest for Addiction. I did go read some of the beginning of it thought and ordered it. Sounds very similar to The Presence Process, but possibly more simple, and possibly less demanding. Kiloby may have some good techniques in there. I ordered a copy, so here a few days I'll start reading through it and share a bit about it after I'm done. I figure it'll have some techniques or explanations that can be used with TPP. I suspect no one here will have heard of it, because if they had, they probably wouldn't be in a TPP thread since the two methods seem so similar.

I'll be curious to hear if anyone else has tried it.

 

Thx Brian. I ordered it also and into the first few chapters. It's as you've said, similar to TTP but not near as much detail and much simpler reading-much simpler. There's a good deal of repetition but I think that's a good thing as it helps to sink things in. Let me know your opinion once you get started. Also, I'm still looking forward to your response on my last message I inboxed you.

 

Awesome. I look forward to your opinion on it, too.

 

Hello again everyone. Getting ready to start my 4th week. I feel I'm being very disciplined and attentive in the areas of the main focus of the process, which I believe to be the 15 min unintergrated breathing exercises twice daily. When thought or felt perceptions arise I allow them to be there and observe unconditionally as best I can. It can be challenging for an obsessive thinker like myself but, nonetheless, I've become more aware of the thoughts entering and feel I'm fairly well able to allow them to "dissolve" as they float around.

During my working hours, however, I dont feel I do as well. My profession is one in where my days are fairly structured, consisting of timed appointments with various individuals throughout the working day. My attention is expected to be focused on these individuals, and their energies, stories, dramas, etc, throughout the day, each of them usually being completely different and "unique" from each other and my own. Often times it can be emotionally draining for me, to say the least!!!! It's during my working hours that I seem to struggle much more with reacting rather than responding to my own emotions, as well as the behaviors displayed by these clients and other distractions occurring simultaneously throughout the day. It's quite the challenge to observe these felt perceptions and be aware of them, without allowing them to define who I think I become during these hours of internal conflict! I'm usually anxious, depressed, angry, fearful, resentful, etc and feeling the actual body resonances that attach to each of these feelings regularly throughout the day. By the end of the day, and usually even before that, I'm drained of energy and fatigued to a point of exhaustion! As if the energy brought by each client wasn't enough, the constant struggle to beat the clock and stay on time for my appointments throughout the day just adds to the "race" to the finish line. It's the old "dog chasing his tail" scenario! This is an age old predicament with me, as well as many of my colleagues in our profession, and certainly not saying it's as a result of TPP!!! In fact, I'm feeling as I continue through the process and intergrate my emotions, that have been brought on from early days and repeated
for many years since, I will be in a better state of awareness as to not feel quite so conflicted and confronted by said emotions and felt resonances.
Does that sound like a fairly accurate assumption or am I consciously or subconsciously seeking expectations? It just seems like common sense to me that a calmer more contented existence would be an outcome in experiencing TPP. I'm without a doubt attempting to rush things along out of impatience and this, I know, is where my "alterior motives" lie! Lol. I shall, however, let those alterior motive thoughts dance around as thoughts, smile at them allowing them to just perform their dance, until they're off the stage and I'm back in presence with TPP.
If anyone out there has other suggestions I'm ready and waiting to absorb.
Thx

 

It's pretty natural to want to rush the results of TPP. I've done that at times, myself. And I think that can be one of the hardest things to overcome, honestly, because we all go into TPP wanting to get rid of our pain or umcomfortable lives (aka - we go in seeking comfort). If we're lucky, we not only realize on the surface level that we're actually wanting to feel content no matter what we feel, but we also integrate it on a subconscious level. We know this happens when we stop seeking comfort, stop trying to feel better, stop hoping our illnesses or pains will go away, and stop rushing to get there. It's like we finally stop trying to "fix" ourselves, recognizing there's nothing to be fixed.

Impatience is just wanting to feel better than we feel in this moment. If we were content in the present moment, we wouldn't try to rush the present moment impatiently to get to a "better" moment. No worries about it though, of course, since it's what we require. We just have to feel it out on our own and see where it takes us. I'm not very good at this yet, to be honest (or maybe I still have some standard I'm measuring myself again). I know there's nothing to be fixed, and part of me believes it subconsciously, but part of me doesn't yet. So I keep seeking "fixes" periodically rather than just relaxing into the moment. I think the best way is probably just to recognize the "fixing" mindset and stop the "fixing" when it happens. And then see how it feels when we're not fixing anything so we can be with those emotions.

It's very difficult to understand that the goal is not to get out of pain--it's to be content with pain. The pain resolving as a result is just a bi-product, and we never know how long that might take. But learning to feel everything we feel, rather than repressing it all, and being happy with all of it is the goal. Why do we need to be out of pain (emotional & physical) if we're content when in it? That's a tough question to ponder and understand.

My guess is that you're correct in thinking that you are subconsciously holding expectations on yourself. When I find myself rushing, I try to stop myself and say, "What's going to happen if I'm late? And how does that make me feel? And what's the other anxiety feeling that I'm feeling that's driving me to hurry instead of relax and accept?" What I usually find is that I'm expecting more of myself than I can reasonably accomplish, which sets me up for being angry with myself and shaming myself when I don't accomplish it. So I'm creating the entire situation by expecting too much of myself and setting up my schedule that way. I hate to rush, so I try to catch this when it happens and change my schedule so I can have plenty of time to do everything I need to do. That's being loving to myself, not expecting too much. Driving myself crazy trying to make others happy or achieve more is just a recipe for disaster. lol It'll all work out one way or another. And I'll get where I'm going when I get there, no matter where I'm going--and everything's going to be okay, regardless. So to break it down simply: I fear (subconscious anxiety), then I try to control things to repress the fear (rushing around or trying to do too much), then I end up feeling stressed out or shameful or whatever. Control through more work or avoidance is always caused by fear of something.

But none of that matters. All we really have to do is ask, "How does this make me feel?" and then feel it without a rushing reaction. So we stop rushing, and feel what we feel. Simple as that, really. Oh, and we start working our schedules so we have plenty of time to do what we need to do. If we believe we can't do that with our schedules because we fear getting fired or having to quit, we just acknowledge, "You know what? I'm not really powerless over this. I actually can quit if I want, or find a better job, or just scale down the demands of this current job and risk getting fired...and it'll be okay. Everything that happens in this life is supposed to for whatever reason, and I really can't control it. All I can do is accept it and be content with it, or complain and make myself miserable about it." lol If I were in a situation like yours, I'd schedule less meetings, drop all expectations of myself consciously as best I can (giving myself permission to do whatever I think is best), and remove all pressures from myself by saying, "I'm in control of my life, so I need to actually take control and stop feeling like I'm controlled by my life." That way, I don't allow the illusion of pressure drive my decisions. I take responsibility and realize that I really am free. Sure, my actions could have difficult consequences, but I'll be fine one way or the other, even if I'm homeless and die. Heck, I'd be kickin' back with God and all the other people in paradise at that point, so that sounds like a damn good deal to me. LOL

I've been at this for a year and a half now. My life's not perfect, nor should it be, but I'm a lot more content now and enjoy life a lot more than I used to, and I'm better at knowing how to love myself more actively with the way I conduct my life. That's huge. And I figure it'll probably take a long time to really to get good at living life the way TPP suggests. And that's okay.

Everyone's situation is a little different, so I just feel it out for myself and see what works best for me. That's about the best I can do, really.

Sounds like you're seeing slow progress, which means you're on the right track. Awesome!

 

Excellent response and I really appreciate you taking the time. Every thing you said is right on target and great advice. It's putting good behaviors into practice that I'm not consistent with!! Nonetheless, I keep striving to do my best and I do know it'll all work out, it must always does!
Scheduling more effectively would help tremendously and I hope to get better at allowing myself say no when necessary. When cash flow is tight it's hard to pass it up when opportunity knocks.
But my state of mind and health is definitely just as important, actually more so!

Are your work ideas progressing? You had mentioned elsewhere that you were trying to develop new ideas that would help to bring in more income. Just wondering and putting positive thoughts out there for you!!

Oh and the book I mentioned that you said you ordered is excellent!!! Very much similar to TPP, but not as descriptive as MB writes. He's focusing it primarily on being experiential in order to derive benefits, just reading and acquiring more thoughts and knowledge just ain't gonna cut it. It's easy easy reading and a great reminder to rest in presence throughout our day.

Take care for now and touch base when needing to 'vent' or wanting to share. Later.

 

Oh yeah--putting behaviors into practice is easily the hardest part of all of this. lol Everyone has trouble with that, and probably for a long time, I'd imagine. Some are probably better at it than others, but everyone's different, so that's to be expected.

My work ideas? Yeah, I'm about to start doing jobs for an employer on the side since my business is so slow. That'll help out a ton. And someday, I'll get to finally put out a book or write my TV show into a book and publish it. Maybe I'll get lucky and it'll actually be turned into a TV series (that's just about impossible, but it can happen on rare occasion)! I get great reviews when I write my TV show into book form, but it's definitely a tricky story to write. I set myself up for a very difficult task of making it work. lol It'd work better on TV. Visual medium makes it so much easier in many ways.

I have the book sitting here in my study, and I've been meaning to read it today, but got hooked on studying some other things and taking care of errands. Oh well. Maybe tomorrow.

Have a great day and thanks for the post!