TMS healing and an episode of Seinfeld

I had this realization today that for me TMS healing usually involves doing the opposite of what my usual patterns of behavior have been. Some examples are: instead of my usual pattern of avoiding difficult or uncomfortable situations or emotions, I should move toward these and embrace them with courage and acceptance; instead of beating myself up over thoughts, feelings, or past behavior that I've judged to be unacceptable, I should practice self-acceptance and self-compassion; and rather than isolating myself and becoming inactive when in pain, I should be active and go out and live my life. The list could go on and on.

This made me think of a Seinfeld episode where George realizes that all his usual patterns of behavior aren't working for him, and he decides to do the exact opposite of what he usually does. Anyone else feel this way?

 

Ellen you got it, 100 percent. Face our fears, worries, problems. Accept them and if we can't immediately
change them, go on with our life. Find distractions while spending a little time each day on those
repressed emotions.

The Seinfeld video is great.

I like the Eckhart Tolle quote too.

 

Hi Ellen - thanks for sharing this post.
George Castanza is a good example on how we should sometimes venture out of our comfort zone and embrace what we fear.
It reminds me of the Louise Hay quote:

I let go of fear and doubt, and life becomes simple and easy for me. ~ Louise L. Hay

 

Yes, my new TMS strategy is: when in doubt, do the opposite of what I used to do.

 

I'm trying to do that, too. Unfortunately I'm still in so much pain that I live in bed minus small bursts to get up and take a shower or bath. I've been meeting my daily goal of walking to the fire hydrant and back (almost 1/4 mile). Every step feels like broken glass shooting in my back/leg/foot, but I'm really trying to push through and not fear the pain.

But I like the "do the opposite" thought - I'm going to give it a try!

 

You're doing great, Tigerlily, taking your daily walk.

While walking, can you think happy thoughts and walking in sunshine and peace?
Think about anything or anyone that will take your mind off of the pain.

Not easy, I know, but it can help.
The more regular you are about the walk, the better you will be.

 

I appreciate the support, Walt. It seems that no matter how long I do it for, it doesn't seem to get any better. Well, that's not entirely true - some days are better than others, but there is always pain. I've redirected my mind and thought happy and peaceful thoughts, etc. I've slammed my foot into the pavement to "tell it off." I've tried to do "normal" activities like Sarno recommends, but the pain is so bad that I can't even do that. Sends me right back to bed.
I need to journal more often or something - I can't seem to break this plateau, and its hard to fight off the anxiety and depression that comes with the lack of progress. I've never been a depressed person in my life, so this is a struggle to take on. If I was dealing with pain jumping from one spot to another (like so many on this list) and I could still function, that would be totally doable for me. But I'm stuck in bed - I'm 41 years old and I can't live a life right now. It's so hard. Thanks goodness the company I work for allows me to work from home or I would unemployed on top of everything else.

 

Tigerlilly,
I'm so sorry to hear that you are still in so much pain and feeling like you aren't making progress. When I have a flare-up of pain, I've found that it works best for me if instead of trying to ignore the pain or push through it, I give it all my attention for a set time, but in a non-judgmental, accepting way. I use a guided meditation for this but because of copyright issues, I can't share it on the Forum. However, Msunn found one that is available free that is very similar at this site. It is the one called 'Soften, Soothe, and Allow'.

http://www.mindfulselfcompassion.org/meditations_downloads.php

It really works for me and I'm not sure why. My theory is that the suffering attached to pain is due to the resistance and the fear we naturally have to it. Or if the pain is delivered by the unconscious as a distraction, if we say, "OK, I'm giving you my undivided total attention.", then maybe the need is diminished.

Wishing you all the best....

 

Thanks so much, Ellen. I just pulled up the link and did the "Soften, Soothe and Allow." Will keep trying to nurture the pain and see if this offers any success. I definitely am struggling with fear of the pain, which of course makes it worse. I've been trying to give myself time and patience - it's just really hard to do that when I'm stuck in bed and there are things that need to get done. But I appreciate your viewpoint and am willing to give this a shot.
Happy Friday!

 

Tigerlilly - my sympathy goes out to you. I understand very well the frustration you've expressed. I've been at a plateau also and have been working at "allowing" the space to be exactly the way it is supposed to be. When I do that, a softening around the judgements I have about STILL HAVING TMS (that's how it sounds in my head) happens and I start to feel a little better. I keep coming back to the basics - journalling about pressures and stress and little by little it changes. Its hard to 'not care' about the TMS when the pain is so demanding - that's when I come back into the forum, read posts and recharge that absolute belief that I am getting better and will be fully healed someday. I know that it is going to be true for you!

 

Tigerlilly, our hearts go out to you and we pray you soon find relief.
Take a look at the video Steve Ozanich posted today that reminds us where our pain comes from.
http://tmswiki.org/forum/threads/e-motion.4181/

 

nowtimecoach and Walt and Ellen - I so much appreciate your kind words and support. It's hard for me to accept support from anyone, but I realize that I need to. The "softening" around the pain and the mindful meditation has been helpful, though yesterday was horrible. For some reason my butt and calf went into major spasm, which hasn't happened for awhile. So after having to take some Oxycontin and Advil I slept half of the day (I hate drugs!) and just felt depressed and helpless. Plus my poor husband who has been my caretaker also has TMS, which up until now has been doable with the pain jumping from one place to the next. But it seems it found a happy spot and has settled into his foot and he can barely walk, much less take care of me. So now he's down and out and trying to learn more in order to heal. Oh boy oh boy!!!
But I'm back on track today and working on positive thinking. I thank you again for your support.

 

tigerlilly - I'm slowly learning about accepting support from being on this forum. I usually hold up a pretty cheery attitude and front but inside can be dying for support. Being on this forum is a really safe place to let it all be exposed because we all understand! My partner just had an emergency appendectomy and I was so touched by all the support, phone calls and love that came to me, as the caretaker. By doing this TMS recovery work, I was able to appreciate and let it soak in. That to me, is what healing is all about. I hope you're feeling better today!

 

We all need support and comforting. One of my favorite things is to get a hug and to give a hug.
It isn't easy for some men to take or give a hug, but most of my male friends like it.
They hug me even before I hug them.

Tigerlily and Nowtimecoach, I hope you can hug your loved ones and they hug you. It could help you both.

I think we could change a lot of our feelings for others, and they for us, if we hugged them. It might surprise
them and they will hug you back.

 

Walt! I wish I could hug you!!

 

Thanks nowtimecoach and Walt - after a few bad days I'm coming out of it and trying to be positive and focused. It's just very hard to maintain the positive outlook when you are in constant pain. But I'm trying!!

nowtimecoach - like the cheery attitude you put out front, I tend to put on a good front that I show the rest of the world, but I've come to the realization that the "real me" is a totally different person. The "real me" isn't the outgoing, confident, have-it-all-together person that others think I am! I wonder if we are all that way?