Day 5 Uncertain...Fear...Anger...

Hi all,

Im at day 5 now, and didn't do much about the SEP for a couple of days.
The reason why i guess is i felt good.

I live in Holland, have had backpains for about 6 to 8 yrs now.
I am currently a lot more active than i have been.

Im biking, walking, and taking soccer practise now (yay!)
But after yesterday, my backpain has come back, and now i am feeling fear.

There are no therapists in Holland who support TMS.
I am currently trying a rehab approach(for the second time).

This rehab programme is based on Physical movement and Psychological aspects.
But i have already done this once. So I talked to the person of the rehab and
told her that i would benefit from psychological help instead of physical help.

She is trying to refer me to a psychotherapist.
But its keeping quiet.

Is there some way i can communcitate with somebody here who can help me?
I tried journalling but in my opinion i don't seem to get to the base of my problems.

I have spoken with my dad about some things of the past and we had a good talk!
But i seem to remember things incorrectly from my past.

How do I deal with that?

Any help?

Enumo.