Day 9 Walk through the pain.

I feel like I have been making good progress. I am slowly getting through this educational program and new concepts and ideas presented here are helping me stay positive and optimistic that I can get better. I have a lot less pain and anxiety. Probably 75%. Which to me is a miracle! It's that last 25% that's tricky. These particular pains have been around for so long - (shoulder arms and hands). I'm having a hard time letting them go. And I'm not able to connect my emotions to the pain. I know that it comes about when I'm working - either joyfully or stressfully. When I am designing, illustrating or painting I am 100% in the moment and working on that task at hand. But I think my mind perceives this intensity as stress. Maybe I feel pressure and internal expectations that have been there for so long that I can't even see them as a reason for the pain? There's clearly more to uncover there.

On another note, I found myself pretty stressed last Friday preparing for my husbands surprise birthday. I had a few tinges of tightness in my neck and I stopped what I was doing to connect with my feelings. I calmed down and felt better. BUT, the next morning as I started tasking away on a myriad of house move projects, my left inner ankle started to acutely hurt. Within a few hours, It hurt to pressure on it. Stairs were very painful. I didn't fall or hurt the ankle in any way. I was sure it was TMS, so I just kept doing what I was doing. I worked through the day with this painful ankle- which only seemed to hurt when I walked on it. Sunday when I woke up and started off the day, it still hurt. The pain escalated to a point where each step I took was excruciating. Finally, I said to myself "Enough!" and allowed myself to feel very frustrated, annoyed and disorganized about everything I was trying to achieve that day. I knew I was trying to do too much and I knew I was worried about how to get everything done. I was full of pressure and stress. This A-ha! happened in my backyard when I was taking out trash. When I walked up the back steps upon my return from the alley. The ankle pain was gone. I sat at my desk and made a list of what I though was reasonable to do that day and took the rest of the tasks off my plate. Wow.

 

Hi, Miss Tuttle. Your post gives you the advice I would give you. Try to ignore any pain when doing tasks or working, walking. Keep your mind focused on the moment... the activity you're doing. If you have a lot to do at home, like preparing for your husband's surprise birthday party, maybe make a list of what you need or want to do, in order of priority perhaps. Check off each thing as you finish it. Don't hurry thinking you have to do everything all at once.
Maybe even laugh while you do things. Or whistle. Tell yourself "This is fun!"

Be very careful and slow on stairs. Watch your feet. Walk "Heel to toe," as a physical therapist told me after I fell and hurt a leg a few years ago.

I bet your husband had a great time and was grateful to you for the party.