Day 36 Weekend away

Hello everyone, so today I am going to take quite a big step in my recovery.
Every month my Mother goes to visit her Mother (my Nana) for a couple of days, she lives about 2/2 and half hours drive away, and i used to go all the time, but haven't since my back pain began.

The day before yesterday i had quite a bad day...BUT i was able to pull myself out of it quite easily and tried hard not to focus on pain, and i feel much better today, so i have decided to go with my Mum for the weekend. I am looking forward to it and i am pleased that i have made quite a quick decision to go, instead of thinking about it and fretting about whether or not it is a good choice for days. I am excited to do a lot of reading and drawing while i am there (she lives on a beautiful farm with a nice big farm house), and i associate that place with a lot of happy childhood memories.

There are of course a number of things i am worried about:
1. It will be the first time in about 7 months that i have travelled in a car for more than about 30 minutes - and as much as i am trying to think that "i am not injured so sitting in a car won't hurt me, people do it all the time"

2. I am looking forward to seeing my Nana and my other relatives that live down south, but i feel (because they are kind and care about me) will ask me how my back is etc. and i don't want to focus on that, because people that aren't injured don't get asked about their injury. Also i don't really want to mention any TMS stuff to them, because some people...well most people are quite sceptical and often negative towards the concept on TMS and the mind body syndrome and i don't want to be filled with doubt etc. as they give me their medical opinions.

I do however overall have a good feeling about this weekend and i think that if it goes well, it will help with my progress tremendously as it will help me conquer my fear of travelling/ sitting for a long time, and talking to people again, as well as sleeping in a different bed and just being in a whole new atmosphere (no matter how well i know that place anyway from going there my whole life). As i have not really 'lived' these past months, staying in all the time afraid to do new things and go places. So it's a mixture of worry but also excitement about what might come.

Oh and also i am not taing my computer with me, so i will be completely unplugged from the world, i hope that when i return home on monday i can (hopefully) share with you all my progress.. or if nothing has worsened then i call that progress too.

Speak soon, sending you all good thoughts, Joey.

P.s. - little side note, i was watching the TV show Sherlock yesterday and (i don't know who has seen it or not) but the character of John Watson has a limp after returning from war in Afghanistan, and basically Sherlock helps him realise that his limp is not as physical injury but is psychosomatic and simply stems from PTSD and his troubling memories from the war!! - i felt it helped me much like reading peoples success stories help haha. Oh and by the way he loses his limp and loses the pain he feels, because he has no time to think about it when he's running around playing detective with Sherlock... so there's a success story for ya!

 

Have fun! I hope you have a great time with your family.

 

Good for you for making the decision to go, Joey! Family can bring its own stressors, but if people ask about your back, try saying something like, "I found that the pain was stress related, and I'm working on minimizing the stress." Most people get that, and you don't need long explanations!