I feel like I've done a lot of journaling and am not sure what else to journal about. I've done past experiences and current experiences. I've considered my personality traits of major goodism and perfectionism. I am pretty sure whatever caused my remaining TMS issues is deeply repressed. I just started making up traumatic experiences and journaling about them hoping maybe one of those happened to me. LOL may not be the best idea? What should I do? I tried scouring my childhood journal for clues but I'm not sure what caused my TMS. My best guesses are: 1. my father was always very critical growing up/very intimidating/snapped at me a lot or 2. I was born a premie, so maybe that was traumatic or 3. I believe Freud's theory was that potty training children too early causes an "anal-retentive" personality. I know my mom told me she tried way too early to potty train me and my sister who both have TMS whereas my younger sister was allowed to be trained at a normal time and doesn't have TMS or 4. my dad would always make fun of me growing up for being feminine (i.e. I wouldn't pain my nails or wear dresses or wear my hair down likely because of his comments) so it caused me to be scared of my femininity. I wonder if maybe my job is subconsciously contributing to my TMS. I am a very creative person, and my job requires almost no creativity. I always thought growing up that I would just be stuck in an office job and pursue my creative passions on the side... but I wonder if I have some repressed anger from that. I've been trying to journal about it. I find my job to be pretty boring... I just don't care about it that much, in all honesty. I wonder if I have a fear of death that is repressed... I'm sure a lot of people do to some extent. We all have to live our lives knowing it could happen at any time. Gaining greater assurance in my salvation has helped me (I'm a Christian) but I find myself unfortunately still having some fear of death/the concept of death. I also wonder if TMS can be caused by low self-esteem in general. I struggle a lot with my body image due to low female hormones (feeling unfeminine due to PCOS) and a stomach that bloats/distends larger as the day progresses. I know in TMS theory you're not supposed to need to find your repressed memory, but I feel like it might be beneficial for me to do so as I've healed quite a bit from some of my TMS issues but am very stuck with certain other issues. Any help would be appreciated. Is there anything else to think about?