Day 25 writing and discipline

checking in as i was guided to do day 25 of structured education program. the writing is a challenge for me - but there is a direct correlation to less pain and deep exploration in writing days. back pain intensifies as the day gets later. sciatic issues in the car are so much better. i can drive for 30+ minutes without pain!! this is big. i am averaging 3 times a week doing what it's been suggested that i do. contemplating buying nicole sachs' program - but it seems silly as there are so many free resources and the formula sure is simple! but im thinking if i have some financial skin in the game maybe... my coach asked me recently - "what investment do you have in keeping the pain?". and of course - i was adamant that i have none! but do i? can anyone share if they have contemplated this question, what came of that reflection and what work did you do to understand it? thanks!

 

Investment to keep it? Maybe it helps me to evolve in a way...hopefully.

I've done a lot to understand it. Psychotherapy, cleaning my thinking patterns, a lot of introspection and changes including in diet, exercise, lots of meditation, habits, hobbies, working on the OCD patters, communication with others, learning to say "no", assertiveness, compassion, courage, creativity, letting go, surrender etc.

Then one night, I had a dream. And a spiritual, evolved voice told me: "You have to accept it! You have to accept it!"

So I accept it now. Living my life like this, pain or no pain it's OK now. Some days are harder, some are easier. At least I've changed for the better because of all this pain in the last years. It's a plus in my opinion. Not easy...but I find it easier to let go and surrender now. More and more, gradually. Rather than being desperate and in pain.

Take care.