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“How do you find a balance to not bring out those uglies and cut yourself some slack?”

Well, your tendency for rigidity is not serving you, is it? It’s creating pressure, and probably making you subconsciously angry that you “have” to or “should” do TMzs stuff.
If you are already conciencously doing the work the maybe it’s time for you to learn to integrate the work into your daily life. If you are journaling to work on feeling emotions in your body or to desensitize a reaction to them, why not work in that in the moment? When you “think” oh wow, I’d do angry.. stop a second and let it flow through you.. and then maybe just journal two or three times a week. Work on sensing when you need to journal vs have to. Work on boundaries, expressing yourself to others in ways that is easy to communicate and easy for others to hear: express your needs. Find new ways of meditation or being present: purposely learning to be in the moment on walks, slowing your pace, sitting and doing nothing for moments of time (or focus on breathing).
So many TMS skills can be employed in the moment, utilizing creativity and having fun with the process.
I no longer journal although I have one and have a quiet, private space if I need it.
I don’t meditate often, but focus on things like minimizing multitasking, walking slowly, changing times of day when I do things, purposely skipping doing certain things.. it’s all training my brain that not doing is as equally safe as doing.