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You set boundaries for yourself. You are compelled to give them advice. Inquire (within yourself) if they are really ASKING for your advice or you feel you MUST offer advice. This is people pleasing behavior.
However in any case if you feel you are being asked and don't want to offer, set a boundary for yourself to say no. You will need to learn how to not get sucked into conversations about it, but there are ways you can respond with kindness but still not offer what you don't want to give. You might not feel calm doing it. When I began to set boundaries with people, it made me anxious, question myself, guilty, and I feared being sucked into the whole drama of it. A particular person STILL tries (this is after 6 months) to get me sucked into the whole drama of it. But I stood fast, and just felt the feelings and emotions of all of that. They are not bad emotions - they just are (and I am extremely conditioned to be a goodist and people pleaser). After being in the same room as this person several times, and keeping my boundaries (even if they don't like them and feel uncomfortable and resentful for them), I have 0 triggers towards it now. I feel proud of myself for learning to maintain my peace even if it's uncomfortable. That uncomfortable feeling is merely anxiety, and nothing more. Claire Weekes books helped me begin to address the anxiety and learn to feel safe feeling those emotions. Sometimes they brought on symptoms but I did not worry about it, because it's only TMS. I knew my mind needed practice to learn that these things are not to be feared. No big deal.
After that I read about emotional maturity which led me to learning how to set boundaries.
NONE of this was to "fix" my TMS or "triggers" or anything at all. I just wanted to stop suffering through my interactions with others. Looking at this from a "FIXING" perspective (which you are doing) is not the way to go about it. I looked at it from the perceptive of freeing myself from emotional suffering. I fully accept that sometimes I'll have symptoms because of a trigger, but now I do not most of the time. I have emotions, but not necessarily symptoms, and when I do (my body can be creative with the symptoms) they make me laugh, and I just ask myself "oh, hi! I feel you, I understand you are feeling something" and stop and take a breath, then move on with whatever I was doing.
I also learned to repeat "I am not responsible for anyone's well being", "I am not responsible for their emotions, it is not my job to fix them".
Now if someone does ask me for advice, I choose to, or choose not to offer it - and if I do, it's MY own advice and they can take it or leave it. They might not agree with it, and that's perfectly OK.
You've asked for lots of advice, and I feel like you have not wanted to agree or deal with much of it (or aren't yet ready to) and that's OK. I offer my opinion and you can take it or leave it, no worries. And if I felt fearful, or do not feel calm, what business is that of yours? NONE because those are my own emotions and you can't control them. It's not your business to control them.
I'm telling you, once you can get your brain to accept this, it is VERY freeing. You will probably be challenged by this repeatedly, but just look at that as a chance to practice everything you want to achieve with your interpersonal and relationship skills. You will also learn that you can feel the feelings of fear without your nervous system getting stuck into overdrive over it. This is not about eliminating all fear, it's not about always being calm. It's about being able to feel those emotions and states of mind within your body and your nervous system be mostly OK with it.
It takes learning, and practice, and patience and kindness towards yourself over time.