Let's begin

First post. In thinking about the pain I have experienced for the last 17 years it is like it has become a companion and I am afraid to say goodbye to it.

I have been aware of TMS and Dr Sarno's processes for about a year. It was a great boon to find the wiki and this programme.

My pain areas are left foot, neck and shoulders. Occasionally lower back and right knee also.

I am active. Like to walk the dogs, play hockey, run a little and lift some weights in my garage. I use a hand mower to do the lawns, like to garden. I am 49, male.

Let's begin.

 

Welcome, Tom! There's a lot of great stuff on the wiki including the Structured Program. I've found this forum to be a great support in my recovery from TMS.

 

Welcome Tom:

The first step is arriving and "beginning" - all at the same time. You'll find a lot of support and help here on the forum.

Good luck on your journey

BG

 

Have just read the Andrew Ruby piece.
I will have to print it, re read and highlight. It has several gems which spoke to me directly. Very well written.

Thanks for the welcome Veronica and Beach-Girl.

 

I was at a chiropractor today. He has been helping with some pain in one of my toes. I asked him about the possibility that my pain was 'in my mind' although I acknowledged that the pain was real. It was a good conversation and he was very sincere and knowledgeable. In short his stance was that the pain was caused by something in the body not the mind.

I am scheduled for a discussion with his partner next week re possible acupuncture.

I am not sure what to do. A foot x-ray revealed no problems - just the normal looking foot of a 49 year old.
I am on day three of the structured programme. I am thinking of canceling the appointment. Any thoughts?

Line (my paraphrase) from the Tony Schwartz reading - Pain is caused by tension.

 

Tom, I agree with Forest. As long as you've been seen by a doctor who has not found anything seriously wrong (like a broken bone or infection) you can probably assume you have TMS. I'm not a fan of chiropractic in general--you have to keep going back and it is constantly reinforcing that something is structurally wrong with you.

In the same way, if you see acupuncture as something that will treat pain or "fix" you, it will be going against your TMS work. If you go for general relaxation/overall wellness it's good, but I think most people with TMS are seeking out acupuncture to get rid of pain, in which case it's not much different than chiro or meds.

 

And the challenge - what do I believe?
I think one reason I have sought assistance to my pain over the years is that somebody will be nice to me, listen etc. They might even rescue me or fix me. (and touch me) - I feel a bit odd thinking this -

"And the pain is still there and won't somebody care and fix it?" Thought comes back again and again. "How could you possibly not go back to the osteopath or chiropractor or podiatrist?" - all whom I've seen this year. (I've also tried doctors - at least three, massage, self healing techniques, YouTube etc etc. Now that I think about it - lots of tries.

Oh oh - starting to get a bit deep -

Just got back from walking the dogs tonight - cool outside but a still calm evening.

Thanks for the comments Veronica and Forest. I agree. There is no physical problem in my left ankle - but that it hurts at times.

 

I don't think it sounds odd at all, maybe because I've had similar experiences. I tend to be someone who takes care of others but doesn't always ask for/accept help for myself--maybe you are like this too--and I found that people like my massage therapist, PT, neurologist, etc. were very kind and compassionate. Though I have always found Dr. Sarno's theory of pain as a distraction from repressed feelings to be much more compelling than the secondary gain theory, I do think I benefitted at times from being in pain. Being in pain was sometimes the only time I would get help from others or allow myself to really be taken care of. The good news is I rarely have pain now and it has become easier for me to ask for and receive emotional support. I now feel more comfortable opening up to people and attracting new, supportive people into my life. And I started therapy which has also been extremely helpful.

I think touch is really important for everyone, not just people in pain. I still go for massage sometimes, not to fix any structural issues but just to relax and feel good.

 

Thank you Veronica and Jan.
I believe my foot and ankle pain is not structural.
I believe that the pain is indeed TMS.
I intend to continue with the structured programme.
I intend to cancel the chiropractor's appointment.

 

Structured Programme Day 5 - "I have TMS".

A short simple statement but so important. 'I have TMS' frees me from thinking I have structural issues and confirms that the cause of the pain is within my mind.
Chiropractor appointment cancelled.

Today I had less pain. This has been my experience this week. Less pain. It is still there at times. When I felt it today I said "I have TMS. There is nothing wrong with my foot."

Just a question though. I was scrambling around today hanging up a display ( I am a teacher) and as I climbed up and down from the table I was standing on I felt the odd twinge and stab. Not really pain but feeling nevertheless. As I experience less pain should I expect all of these tweaks to disappear?

 

Great news, Tom! Glad you are already feeling less pain.

Well, I think it's normal to have some physical sensations/pain from time to time--like if you felt sore for a day or two after lifting weights. These kind of sensations usually go away quickly if you don't worry about them. In terms of random twinges of pain, yes, I get much less of that now and when I do I remember it's most likely TMS and it just passes through.

 

This is great news Veronica and Jan. Thank you for taking the time to post and support.

I have been playing hockey this year - not ice hockey for you North Americans - but field hockey, and have been strapping my ankle every game in an effort to support my ankle and foot.

Since I am trusting my TMS diagnosis I decided to avoid strapping this week. The results were good. I played with freedom and movement. Felt my ankle tweak at times during the game. Then today it twinged several times. Even sore at times.

Each time I have said to myself, "It is TMS. Breathe." It has been a good mantra and settles the pain and it moves off.

I am continuing with the structured programme - working on day 6.

 

Hi Tom:

Just reading your thread here, sounds like you're making great progress. I agree with Jan that TMS can be a life long journey and *I* for one, celebrate the things I've conquered. Sounds like you are too. How cool you were able to play without the support to your ankle. That's really giving it the "You're outa here" message!

As a statement to my belief in TMS - I cancelled all "alternative therapies" on my insurance this year. I know what's up with my back and it's nothing a chiro can fix. Congratulations for cancelling that appointment!

BG

 

Still on the mend and experiencing gains. Without doubt there is less pain. Especially in the morning upon rising - I almost can not believe it. But I do and I welcome it and I am grateful.

I have enjoyed day 7 of the structured programme as it is a day of rest and reflection.

I have not yet managed to journal to any great extent. I have tried journalling off and on over the years and never had any success at sustaining it.

 

That's great, Tom. Journaling seems to work more for some than others. It was very helpful to me at first but in the last few months I've felt less of a need for it as I've been spending more time talking about things with my therapist and people here.