I have read Dr. Sarno's Healing Back Pain twice now in the past week. I am desperate to get out of this pain. About 6 months ago, I was bending down doing something at work and the pain started, I couldn't get out of bed the next day. The pain was a 9/10. It subsided a bit in the following weeks but I'm still sitting at 4/10 on my bad days, and I constantly feel that if I move the wrong way my back will spasm with shooting pain that radiates down my left leg. Xray showed degenerated lower disk with only a little fluid left in it. MRI showed bulging l5s1 disc (not currently touching a nerve). Regular ortho, and ortho surgeon both say that there is nothing to operate on (thankfully). I've done PT, Chiro, spinal injections, 3 rounds of prednisone/oral steroids). Vitamins, b12, vitamin C mega dosing, turmeric, tylenol, ibruprophen 800, and meloxicam 15mg, heat/ice, cupping, massage, hanging from a pull up bar, Mckenzie stretches, treadmill, elliptical, hot tub, and lost 25 pounds in an attempt to rid the lower backpain. The pain just won't go away. I feel useless sometimes..... the other day I went to Home Depot with my wife and I had to watch her loading bags of mulch, embarrassed, because I'm a 33 year old man and appear to be able-bodied (aside from a little extra weight). We have 2 small children. It breaks my heart when my little guy cries and reaches up for me to pick him up, and I can't because of the fear of pain that i may experience, either immediately or the next morning. I am definitely guarded and try not to do anything that will trigger an episode. I have extreme flexion intolerance (whether real or perceived? I'm not sure, but I'm afraid to bend forward at all) Sitting too long hurts my back, laying too long (can't sleep more than 6 hours or so before my back is on fire). Standing for too long kills. Standing from a seated position sometimes sends a spasm down my leg and my back. I have enough different lumbar support pillows to replenish a nursing home. I'm afraid to go to bed, because I'm afraid of how i'll feel in the morning. I don't know what else to do, I feel like another child that my wife has to take care of, I just want to run around with my kids, pick them up, and push them on a swing without fear of being in pain the next morning. I want to take the trash out and not have to ask my wife to do it. I'm irritable because of the pain, and my wife and my kids don't deserve it. I think I have TMS after reading Healing Back Pain?? I started applying the methods last week and the pain seemed to slowly get better but I think I may be doubting it because of how much pain I'm in? And now I'm back to square 1. I'm a supervisor and my job is pretty stressful, my kids both have slight learning disabilities and they can be tough to handle sometimes. My wife is getting sick of having to do everything, and I don't blame her. These are just a few things I believe might be contributing to my TMS. When I'm anxious or nervous is when my back is at its worse, so it's got to be emotions/TMS right?! The only thing I look forward to on my bad days (more often than not) is the next time I can take my tylenol/NSAIDs. Praying I don't ruin my stomach in the process.