New Program Day 6: The Fear Matrix

Hi Hambone/Alan,
I'm wondering also if the 'freeze' response could account for why something would occur (ie TMS) that would prevent you from running? Many animals play dead when they can't escape a predator, so this could be the missing link as to why something would occur to make us 'freeze'. But probably it is just our brains going haywire, and perhaps also there is something in our current culture that makes us get TMS symptoms when we have too much fear, anxiety, stress, etc, but in previous times, this didn't happen. Our modern way of living, definitely causes much more stress than people had in the past. And Dr Sarno talks about how at different times in history, different ailments were 'popular' and affected a great many people. I can't remember what they were, but there was one from the last century that people hardly get anymore, and right now it manifests as a preponderance of back pain. Sitting in chairs for long periods could also be one of the culprits (apparently it's much better for us to sit on the floor, according to body mechanics people) so this could cause a vulnerability that is easily susceptible to stress and tension.

 

Yeah it's hard for me to believe that tms pain derives from our fight or flight response. If this were true our ancestors would surely been eaten before they could reproduce and by process of natural selection current humans would have a highly effective fight or flight response, unhindered by pain symptoms. The explanation that tms symptoms are an attempt to distract us from painful repressed feelings makes more sense to me. It may not matter which theory of causation is correct.

 

Only for pleasure.
Maybe someday though...

 

Hi Alan, thank you for this program. I finished Day 6 yesterday, and while I totally get everything, I'm so stuck in the "what if's" and "why won't this stop" thinking. It's really not about the pain either. My pain has decreased since I starting doing TMS work, which is great, so I know I'm on the right path. My big struggle right now is Tinnitus. It's been going on for about 2 months now, and it has me so disturbed, I feel like I am seriously losing my mind. I don't sleep well, my concentration has gone out the window and I find myself wishing that I just had pain instead of this!! I'm trying to tell my brain that this will pass, just observe it and move on. I get all that, but it just gets so exhausting at points in the day. I'm not sure how much more I can take this. I feel like I have confronted all of the "rage" and "stress" that I have in my life (past and present), and I continue to journal, and read my books, and do the "work", but I guess I'm just missing something here! I feel like this is never going to get better, and I know that doesn't help. I just don't quite know what to do here, and THIS causing me probably more rage than a lot of other things in my life!! Any advise would be great!

 

Hambone, I agree with your logic. besides the fact that if it were true, our ancestors would have been eaten, if a major factor of causality in TMS is restriction of oxygen to the muscles, then the increased blood flow to the muscles during fight or flight would be bringing increased oxygen and nutrients to aid in muscle strength and survival and one would think as you stated previously that TMS symptoms would be negated by fight or flight.

I do think it should matter though because if hypothesis is subject to falsifiability it inherently means that it can be proven false. It helps to go through the process of elimination by falsifying hypothesis, the faster one can go through them the quicker one can arrive at a correct one.

 

I had tinnitus for three days. The first time I heard it, I thought someone was blowing a dog whistle outside my window. Then I went into the other room, still heard it, and thought, "Uh-oh."

Tinnitus is just another example of our brains amplifying a signal...interpreting something safe as if it's dangerous. You overcome tinnitus the same way that you overcome pain. Recognize that you're safe. Don't try to get rid of it. Enjoy your life. All this journaling and "work" that you're doing is just generating more pressure and more tension. How could you possibly feel safe with such a sense of urgency?

Don't wait for it to pass to get back to your life, get back to your life and it will pass. The only power the symptom has over you is its ability to scare you.

 

Thanks Alan.......... it does make sense that I'm just adding fuel to the fire by thinking I have to work really hard at this TMS stuff all the time. "Urgency" is probably the best word to describe me too. I read that word and thought, "holy cow, this is how I always am"! I certainly am the type that when I want something fixed, I WANT IT FIXED NOW!!! I have gotten a little better with becoming aware when I'm slipping into a negative abyss and then try to ease up on being frustrated with all of this but it's hard not to let those feelings creep back in and take control. That's where I need to get better for sure. Just let them be there and not try to FIX everything! I am also trying to remind myself NOT TO BE SCARED TO DO THINGS!! There is a big twist however when it comes to this stupid tinnitus. I LOVE concerts and I have two of them over this weekend. I have to admit, I was asking myself all last night at the first one............"am I just making this worse now"? "Is this why I have tinnitus"? (I do wear ear plugs, and I have never had my ENT Dr. tell me anything is wrong with my ears), but you know that fear bug! It won't stop me from going again tonight, but it's going to be a challenge to ignore this "high pitch pain in ass" that's in my ear trying to bring me down as always. Thanks again Alan. I appreciate you responding back to me. (did you really only have tinnitus for just 3 days or did you mean 3 years? - Lucky you if it was only 3 days........... and I sure hope 3 YEARS isn't typical!! ........ god help me and my poor husband if it is!) LOL!

 

Hi,

I wanted to ask you since you beat pn.
I have a question regarding pelvic pain. I havespoken to Alan and Dr. Schubiner over the phone and via email. I even had sessions at his practice with one of his therapists. Many of us who have pelvic pain, pn, or cpps, have pain when sitting. The longer we sit the worse the pain gets. Starts off ok in the morning and progressively gets worse as the day goes on. Now, in the recording with Christi Alan says to her if it was a structural issue her thumbs would hurt more the longer she typed. So, this is the biggest hurdle for me. Thinking how can it not be structural because when I stand up, the intensity of the pain diminishestremendously? I know that there are people with pelvic pain who have gotten over this hurdle and want to know what did it for them? I've had anxiety, tmj, back pain, etc and have dealt with them. However this pelvic pain is a real bearbecause it's so conditioned and in the worstpossible area. I would appreciate your feedbackand also anyone else that is familiar with pelvic pain .. thanks

 

I too have had pelvic pain for years that is now dissipating. Mine gets worse the longer I sit. This to me is MORE evidence that it is TMS and circulation related. When I stand better circulation is accomplished. Do you not agree they sitting for long periods of time is bad for even general circulation? Don't your legs feel better after getting up and moving like when traveling? Makes perfect sense to me. It started getting better when I truly began to work on decades of emotional pain. If you are searching for a reason that this will NOT work then of course, it will not.

 

Also, if it were structural then it would hurt while standing. Not just sitting. A flat tire on a car is flat whether that machine is in motion or not.

 

Hi Un0wut2du,
May I ask what your pelvic pain symptoms were or are? I have burning pain and it starts off ok in the morning and gets progressively worse as the day goes on. It feels like a sunburn. I am not afraid of the pain and go about living my life. However, it takes away from my concentration and very hard to ignore at the end of the day while pain levels are through the roof. The pain has been so consistent and predictable. If I had a break from it then I think it would give me the positive affirmation and momentum to beat it. However, it never subsides. Longer I sit the longer it hurts. It just draws all your attention even though you aren't afraid of it. Christie's pain stopped for a minute while she was using her hands. That was enough. My pain never subsides or disappears like that. If it did, that is all I would need. You say that you worked on emotional pain. Did you do journaling? Therapy?

 

Hi All,
I will relate my experience which is somewhere else about pelvic pain. It is completely anecdotal and I have no idea if it is an accurate description of what might have been the issue, just something my PT and I thought as a real possibility.

I initially really injured my groin, playing tennis. Didn't really allow it to heal and continued to try and play on and off for about a year. I stopped playing completely. several years went by, and I tried again and ended up in the same position.

I had pain at my groin by my genitals sometimes going into the genital area, burning at the front, top part of the pelvis and the upper inner thigh. simple movements increased the pain. Especially after sitting.

The pain appeared to be so deep I could not really touch it. Simply frustrating and irritating when I allowed it to be. Nothing on x-ray, MRI, or examination.

A Tennis court opened up near my place here in NYC which was to good to be true. I decided to go to the doctor and see if I could get some PT. He diagnosed me with groin strain and I asked for a referral to the hospital for special surgery for sports injuries here in town. I knew I no longer had a groin strain because of the time that had passed but accepted the 14 visits of PT.

When I was first evaluated by the PT her first comment was she did not see how it could be a groin strain, she said my muscle strength was fairly good in the area and I seemed pretty mobile considering that I did have some tightness in the area. I explained the sitting thing and also one other thing that I have not mentioned.

Sometimes in the mornings, when I would stretch my legs out straight in front of me in bed (a leg yawn I guess). I would feel and hear a loud popping under my genitals. I thought it might be a tendon riding over something and wondered if what was happening constantly and causing irritation. She said highly unlikely, that most likely it was my pubis symphysis joint which at some point during the treatment I was able to reproduce and she confirmed that. I was not even aware that this was a moving part! She said there had to be a lot of tension and pressure put on the joint to move it in that way. and suggested stretches especially in the opposite direction of how ones body would be in the sitting position. Ouch, those muscles and tendons were super tight.



The other thing I requested from the start was, that I was going to start to play again at the outset, of course not too vigorously. She said that they usually recommend no activity during the therapy and I asked her to please humor me and I would not tell if she didn't and if it turned out to be detrimental I would stop.

My first time out, I had no pain or sensation until bout 30 min in. Then I felt a slight tearing in the muscle in my inner thigh from the inside of the knee to where it attaches at the top of the groin, I played another 45 min which was probably too long to begin with but I had taken it pretty easy. the pulling sensation eased over the next couple of days.

Within a few weeks, I was not able to reproduce the popping no matter how I tried, the groin pain eased in proportion to how much I played, by the end of 8 weeks, I could play a couple of hours hard with no groin pain, no pain upon standing up ( other then sore muscles), by out week 9 I had a strange occurrence of a pelvic pain I had not had before which was in the hip joint as I stepped down, it only lasted a couple of days. By the end of the fourteen weeks, my balance which had been off in the beginning, was now spot on, the last 6 weeks I had asked her to really work my core and it was rock solid and I can now play 3 times a week when I have the chance sometimes for 3 hours. I am a happy camper!

What do we believe occurred?
Because of the multiple times I had re-injured myself, scar tissue had formed and shortened the muscles, tendons and ligaments. In the sitting position these do not feel shortened as the position shortens them naturally, upon standing, they pull because of the tightness and alter the natural structure of the pelvis moving that little joint back and forth creating irritation which would be felt from almost any ordinary movement of the legs including simply initiating lifting ones leg up.

In addition, because of the amount of nerves that pass through the area (and they do not run all the same way in everyone) the tightness can effect them, would never appear in any diagnostic test because one would have to duplicate all the movements one goes though during the day and those nerves referred pain to other places in the area.

Hence, the tearing of the muscles from the initial playing may have freed up some of the tension, the continued playing and stretching allowed them to fall back into and heal at a more normal length putting less tension on the pelvic structure and eliminating the cause of my pain.

Sounds reasonable, yet as I said strictly anecdotal.

 

I have a history of somewhat abusive relationships. My last relationship (marriage) before my current one was emotionally and verbally abusive. My ex-husband would go into rages (over little things like me not answering my cell phone) and then proceed to yell at me, accuse me of cheating on him, he would withhold money (for a while I wasn't working when I was with him), and on and on. Every time he went into a rage I feared that "this" is the time he will cross over and beat the crap out of me. He never did and I got out of this marriage as quickly as I could.

My current husband is not violent, he never yells at me, and he doesn't get angry over insignificant things like me not answering my cell phone. He does however express anger or frustration openly. If he is frustrated with something he shows that frustration openly and then he releases it and he feels better. If we are frustrated with something the other person is doing or not doing, we communicate in a calm manner. It just occurred to me (not sure why it has taken me this long to figure it out) that although he is not directing any anger at me, that this most likely produces fear due to my previous relationship. On a conscious level I feel completely safe with my husband but I assume on a subconscious level I am afraid of any expression of anger on his part because of my previous relationship? Is this possible? If so, how do I communicate to my brain that I am safe in this relationship? And why would this cause pain now? I have been married 15 years. I did have other health issues over the years and many of them have cleared up recently (Lyme disease, hypothyroidism, food sensitivities, lack of stomach acid, and many more) and I am now working on overcoming pain, fatigue, and sleeping issues (the latter has improved greatly).

Thank you...

 

i have pelvic pain as well, but mine is Pudendal neuralgia. Mine was started from a nerve block gone wrong (it wasnt their error, it was my system reacting badly). I have no evidence of "entrapment" and my whole nerve hurts, tip to tip, and the pain moves around (in the path of the nerve). There was always this thought in the back of my mind, and the doctor said it was possible, that becuase i have such thin blood and i bruise easily, that there was some bleeding into the nerve space, and then produced a scar. I'll never know though....but the fact that my pain comes and goes depending on my activity, distraction, and sometimes mental state, sort of rules out actual nerve "damage". The central sensitization theory, (it's a solid theory and doctors are catching on) makes a lot of sense in the case of pelvic pain. Our brains have turned up the pain volume knob in the pelvis because it recognizes that the area is unsafe. Also, pelvic muscular tension and spasm seems to be always present in pelvic pain patients. It could be the cause or effect. If the nerve hurts, the muscles will tighten and spasm. Then it hurts more....and the muscles tighten more, and so on. It's a vicious loop that is hard to escape. That's why no matter how many times i go to PT to break up the tightness and trigger points, it always comes back. The brain still thinks the area is unsafe.
Ezer is a good example of somebody who initially injured himself, but the pain remained long after it should have healed. In some cases, it's like phantom limb pain. The body is feeling the "echo" of the pain.

 

Hi Nicole,
Sorry to hear you are still experiencing that, I am sure it is frustrating. In addition to the things I mentioned, I also included altering my body movements while playing, this was really difficult as my body memory would and still works against me until I can replace it with the new movements. But even managing to include the new movements 30-50% of the time I believe helps because I am not putting the same amount of strain on the area as before. I am personally familiar with the phantom limb pain. About 20 years ago, I was helping a colleague get ready for a museum show and was working late turning out parts for her furniture. I was using an unsafe table saw practice and a slight distraction caused my finger to go into the blade, while not cutting the digit off it sawed right into it length wise. To this day, as my hand gets close to the blade, that finger starts to tingle actually reminding me that I am getting closer to the blade, it increases as I get closer. It could be that it has become hyper sensitive to the vibration and wind generated from the blade and recognizes it that way or, I may be having a subconscious reaction and that what is sending the sensation to my finger or a combination of other things.

 

Hi Alan, this lesson was the most powerful for me. I never framed my fear in quite that way - that fear is meant to signal danger and if you feel constantly unsafe, you will constantly have fearful thoughts. This is really personal for me, 'cos I definitely did not grow up feeling safe with tremendous pressures from my family.

I have a question on the difference between being logical and fearful. If I have a thought, "Will this program for me?", can it not only be a logical question? Where does fear come in?

Similarly, for ambition. If "I want to become a musician.", is that fear or ambition? Is there a difference at all? So many of thoughts that you mention appear innocuous, but I definitely see that they are fear based. But is there any space for logic or ambition at all then? Do those things even exist?

 

I had a difficult day with intermittent stabbing pain in my left temple. Boy I was scared whenever it happened? What is this? A stroke? I was full about of fear. Tried to call my internist but he was gone for the day, thought about calling a doctor friend but didn't want to bother him, thought about calling Dr. Stracks!!!
Help! What's happening to me? Then I looked up this program, read parts of my mindbody books, looked in the mirror and deep into my eyes and told myself to CALM. It's okay it's okay. Don't make it worse by being afraid. I've done that my whole life and I don't and won't do it again. The pain is subsiding. I get a slight jolt of pain every hour or so but it's moving around the left side of my face. Of course I had to look it up on the internet which is always a mistake, but I found an article that said it could be stress so I hung onto that. Soon I'm going to listen to Dr. Schubiner's meditation CD and go to sleep. Hoping this will be gone in the morning. Also hoping maybe that this is an extinction burst!!! Good luck to all you TMSers
This is really hard stuff but it works. I'm sure that if I was full of fear the symptoms would have been much worse. Bless you all.

 

I have PN, and yes, my pain is worse when sitting, however, i do have a better sitting tolerance than most PN'ers. The reason for this i think, is because when i first got symptoms, i refused to not sit. I sat all the time, and my pain didnt really change much. Then, when i went to a PN doctor, and he told me all these things i could no longer do, i became depressed, and the diagnosis became "real". Well guess what happened? the next day i suddenly had sitting pain and rectal pain (i didnt have this before). It was like my doomsday thinking of this new horrible diagnosis was going to make me fragile, and i had to treat myself as fragile. Well, i got myself a special cushion, but i still sat a lot. I didnt become one of those people who avoided sitting all the time. While i do have more pain upon sitting, it isnt drastic. For instance, some of my worst pain is laying down, and oddly enough, at it's most worst when i lay down and play with my phone. I think that's because when i'm doing that, i'm at my most depressed and lonely, and my brain knows i'm using rest and social media as an escape.
The sitting pain is real. If you follow the Central Sensitization theory (read up on it, it's an emerging theory in pain science and it involves the brain as a major cause of chronic pain) it claimes the brain has jacked up the sensitivity of nerves. So yeah, sitting down on that nerve is going to put pressure on it. This does NOT mean there is damage though. You are likely not damaged, just hypersensitive. This volume knob of pain is controlled by the brain, and your brain thinks the pelvic area in and around that nerve is in danger somehow. Then we build associations.

Lately i've tried weaning off my cushion. i still use it at my desk job, but i used to carry it EVERYWHERE including restaurants and movie theaters. I no longer do that, and honestly, i dont feel much different. I also have a standing desk at work and i try my hardest not to use it, unless in a horrid flare

 

Good question. Almost all fears are based on logical reasoning. "Is this program going to work for me?" Is absolutely a logical question, but does the question itself have you feeling in a place of uncertainty, or a state of fight or flight?

Most of these fear thoughts don't help us in any way, and although they may be based in logic, they often arise because our minds have become conditioned to gravitating toward fear.

 

Hi there. i have very similar symptoms, and yes, i wake nearly fine, and it just gets worse and worse as the day progresses. I wouldnt say i get total breaks in pain, (unless i take meds) but there have been clues that I have TMS. i've explained a number of times these clues, but if you go back into some of my recent posts, or even my first post ever, you'll see what i mean. The idea that you wake up feeling good, is a good indication that you're not dealing with "damage". It was explained to me that when you sleep, you go into a calm meditative state, that calms the nervous system. Then throughout the day, as your nervous system wakes up, the muscles also start to wake up and clench. it's an endless loop of nerve sensitivity and muscle clamping, that all comes from the brain.